Lifemates partner

It's all in our heads.

2020.09.22 13:44 Fierytail003 It's all in our heads.

As Rick(*) puts it, "I hate to break it to you, but what people calls “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage."
 We humans fundamentally belong to the Earth's native animal strata. But often our brains, demanding to be more functional than any other animals', often fails to accept this and demands a more sane explanation. It therefore position itself to come to the conclusion that humans belong to a whole different biological realm. Well most of us do. I mean if I ask if you are an animal, will you happily agree? We humans often mistake our aggressive endeavors as evidence of our intelligence. We often think we are the most evolved guys around but that's just nature playing its part. We aren't the ones who's evolving. Sure sure,the actual physical and mental changes occur within us. However, thinking from a different perspective allows you to say that nature's the one who's evolving. However, it is difficult to say if it is evolving in the most moral way possible but why does it ever matter. Nature has always tested us. It gives us some additional feature to work with and sees whether it suits the requirements. Morality was never one of the key requirements. It has always been survival as life was limited to a planet that have no possibility of expanding its "livable" part. So it was clear from the start that the most evolved ones were to stay and the ones that don't,or weren't equipped with useful qualities, will meet death. We have no other option but to accept the fact that we are animals. And like all of the species in the animal kingdom,there must be something that seperates us from other animals. We often mistake that our segregating factor is the ability that we are able to think sanely and to be emotionally conscious. That's just complete nonsense. That would lead to the conclusion that animals do not have the slightest idea of what consciousness is. Do you really believe that all animals you see just walk around without actually carrying out any sort of mental processes? Now if you really got the guts now to call yourself an animal, you are accepting the fact that love doesn't exist. You see the main purpose of an animal is to eat and basic survival. But the barrier of certain death compels an animal to resort to alternative methods to continue its biological genome even if it means its not the actual former who actually continue to exist. So,it mates with other members of its family and creates progenies with remarkably similar genetic data. Small miscrepancies that might occur within this phenomenon contributes to evolution. So what we call "Love" is actually the last hope of life trying to do what it does best-to carry on,to continue. As we humans often exaggerate our abilities, we mistake this chemical reaction that compels us to breed as something much more. We try to stick around our self-found partners even if we don't like it. The truth is infact that we aren't evolved to feel that way. Yet we often take our basic survival processes as pathways to morality and mistake our care for a person as something called love. That uneasy feeling that you are created for them and vice-versa. Just think what quality of a person made you fall in love with him/her. Your brain might force you to say that it was their personality,their innocence and what not. But the truth is that it was their actual physical appearance and viability to you,as it is in the animal world, that made you feel attracted. Now we often substitute this basic feature for so many others making it really difficult to find a suitable candidate, making you fall into lifelong depression because you couldn't find a suitable lifemate. Now, it is quite funny to think that when you have pre-positioned yourself to be something different from an animal, something lower in status and abilities than you, to be something higher in both constraints-to be "human". But it is easier for an animal to breed than you do. And for that matter, with multiple accquaintances.And that is the sole purpose of a human and an animal. 
And lastly if this passage offended your principles in anyway, which I am pretty sure did, I deeply regret for the same.
(*)Rick Sanchez from the animated series, "Rick and Morty". I omitted "Morty" from the quote to stick to the idea I wish to convey through this passage.
Thanks for your time, Whatever that maybe.
Ok. Let's get real.
 Everything you just read made you think what a complete fool I am to question love. It's like the most powerful thing ever. Or maybe its because I just broke up with someone. But, no. 
What we call love is simply care for another person, if you really think about it, it's nothing magical or something exclusively destined for us.
You see, human life is existential horror. Since we became "us", we've been searching for purpose. And judging by our current state, it's safe to say we haven't. We're still bound by our myths. By myths, I don't exclusively mean religion. Money, time, personal property, rights and whatnot are all myths we've created to make us feel like we know what we are doing. But we're not. And don't feel sad. Life is not about purpose, your aims, "passion" and all that. It's about nothing. You are here and that's it. That's really it. You don't have to do anything. You don't need to do anything. Heck, you don't have anything TO do, if you really think. Everything you do is bound by our own myths. And that's fine. It's the best we can do.
Thank you for reading. If indeed there is a you and you are not part of a simulation that programmed you to read this now or if there is a God who gave you so much sentience that you could question his existence or if the universe is one collective memory and what I do influences you(or essentially me) and everyone else.
Ok. Sorry for the decayed brain cells. If there is really a brai...
Ok I'll stop. It stopped being funny.
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2020.08.20 23:33 pulpbusters There Goes My Nipples Again

The woman wearing very little strutted across the parking lot, and the stupid man walked into a closed door.
The door belonged to a charmingly inconvenient boutique located in a rather busy corner of a fictional town I’ve made up just now, the sort of place with people to eat, things to regret, and, I suppose, whatever else one might think to bother with in an otherwise unimportant backdrop. The man, meanwhile, belonged to - and was wanted by - nobody in particular, which, coincidentally, was the reason he was here in the first place.
“Sir?” a voice asked.
The stupid man looked up to find a strikingly acceptable young lady standing there in the doorway, looking at him in that way that seductively whispered, I wonder if he’ll spend any money here. “Women,” he concussed, attempting to remember at least one or two other words, and then forgetting to bother at all.
“Sir,” the young lady replied, “Far be it from me to question any man’s right to drink himself stupid in the middle of the day, but if you’re going to do that sort of thing, I suggest you do so somewhere more appropriate, like a public library or a city council meeting.”
“I was told,” the man eventually spat out, “that I could find a woman here.”
“I suppose you’re technically correct,” she replied. “But I’m not sure why you felt the need to bring my door into this.”
After thinking really hard about it, something dislodged itself and the man started over. “Is this ‘Bottom of the Barrel, We Get Paid, So You Get Laid?’”
“You’ve seen our ad.”
“A friend of mine referred me. He suggested I come here to help with my…” he said, trailing off in that way one does when one desperately wishes to have the other character finish the first character’s sentence.
“With your…?” she replied, bravely refusing to follow convention.
“Romance problem,” he euphemism’d.
“Well, I’m not sure what you were told, but I’m afraid my door simply isn’t interested.”
The man huffed, hurting his tender wittle headums in the process. “This is ridiculous.”
“I agree,” she said, holding the door open. “Would you like to come inside and perhaps spend some money, then?”
And after an uncomfortable, protracted self-assurance that he would not, in fact, bash his skull against the shop door, the man stepped inside.
“Tell me a bit about yourself, Mr…” the young lady started, guiding him over to her desk and trailing off in that way one does when needing to know someone’s name.
“Customer.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Customer. My name is Customer.”
“Bit odd, isn’t it?”
“It’s the best I could come up with.”
She nodded. “I’m sure it was, Mr. Customer. Now, let me know how I can do so, and I’ll be absolutely frothy to rid you of some, most, or all of your money.”
“I want a woman.”
“I think you simpleton’d something about that, yes. But what sort of woman are interested in?”
“Oh, you know the sort. Kind, loving–“
“Smart and beautiful?”
“If it’s not too much trouble.”
“Not at all. Quite a common request. Any particular aesthetic, make, or model?”
“No, no. I’ll take whatever I can get. Just someone who loves me, is all.”
“But also smart, kind–“
“And beautiful, yes.”
“Of course. Anything else?”
“It’d be nice if she enjoyed the things I do, maybe understood me better.”
“I think I understand.”
“Well, do you have one?”
“One what?”
“A woman. I came here for a woman.”
“Mr. Customer, what we offer at ‘Bottom of the Barrel, We Get Paid, So You Get Laid’ is completely customizable companion design and printing of made-to-order, honey-glazed, hand-crafted artisanal friends, lovers, and assorted sexual playthings.”
“You mean, you don’t have any just laying around.”
“Sir, again, if that’s the sort of thing you’re looking for, then I suggest you get into politics.”
“No, no. I mean, you don’t have any off-the-shelf, over-the-counter women in stock?”
“Custom orders only, I’m afraid”
“Shame.”
“Yes, but I assure you our services are second to none.”
“Well if you have no women in stock, what could you possibly offer?”
“Options, Sir. Options.” She rose with a click of her heels and a wave of her hand, and the walls flickered and came to life with images of women of all shapes, sizes, looks, and attires. “You see, we’ve long discovered that while men such as yourself claim they’re looking for a smart, beautiful, funny, beautifully smart, and funnily beautiful romantic partner, what you’re actually looking for is a fictional surrogate to fill some contrived role in an utterly warped narrative of a poorly written love story that only exists in your head. Whether it’s the strong, independent femme fatale, the diminutive and submissive doll, or perhaps even a flirtatious lesbian whom only you can somehow magically convert into a heterosexual lifemate and plaything. Whatever outlandish concept of a woman you can fathom, we can fabricate.”
“This is insane.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Customer. I didn’t mean to offend.”
“No, no. I’m not offended – that was an impressively accurate guess.”
“We aim to please.”
“This all sounds a little too good to be true. How can you possibly have such a roster of willing women simply waiting to tend to the imaginative whims of a lonely man?”
“I’m afraid I’m failing you, Mr. Customer. Perhaps a demonstration.”
“Is there a charge?”
“Not at all. This is a free sample guaranteed to wash out with little more than soap and water.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Well then, please do,” she said, directing him over to a large glass and metal pod. In the pod was nothing but a comfortable chair with a towel on it. “In just a few moments, you’ll perfectly understand what I mean.”
Not sure where this was going, but eager for it to end, Mr. Customer once again did as he was instructed and sat himself down in the comfortable chair. “What’s the towel for?”
“It helps us minimize the cleanup,” she said.
“Cleanup?”
She waved her other hand in a different way and the pod door closed. Two-and-a-half minutes on high and one adorable little ding of a bell later, and the door opened again.
“Well, what do you think?” the young lady asked. “We call this one the ‘Manic-Pixie Dream Girl.’ It’s very popular.”
Mr. Customer stepped out of the pod in a cloud of gas known to the state of California to possibly cause some kind of cancer, maybe, and seized on what he saw in the mirror. Meanwhile, a frighteningly accurate play-by-play of what he was seeing played over some nearby speakers, along with a pleasant little tune.
“She was a breastuous bit of leggy sex dipped in the sticky, erotic honey of a needy man’s dream,” a man’s voice started.
“What the hell?” the bit of leggy sex croaked.
The voice continued. “She played with her luxuriously unkempt hair, hastily tied up in a ponytail, and squeezed at the massive udders bolted to her chest, which were seemingly hoisted up by a series of cables and pulleys until they burst forth from her modest, low-cut, crease and crevice-hugging dress. All skewed slightly because of a pair of glasses now in her face.”
“What the Hell have you done to me?” Mr. Customer jiggled and bounced.
“Do you know how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly?”
“What? No. Not at all.”
“Well. It’s a lot like that, but not.”
“I meant why have you made me a woman? I came here for a woman, not to be turned into one.”
“Did you, Sir?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Are you sure that’s what you came here for?”
“Concussion aside, I’m fairly certain that’s what I eventually said, yes.”
“If you were referred to us, then I’m sorry to say that your ideal woman likely doesn’t exist. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make one who does.”
The freshly baked bit of scrumptious tart screamed, but in the sense that he didn’t.
The young lady sighed. “Women are more than a collection of traits to be picked and plucked and thrown together like some macabre masturbatory stew, Mr. Customer. Some might even consider them people, with internal lives of their own and everything. “
“Isn’t that last bit true?” Mr. Customer groped and pawed.
“How should I know? I started this business so I didn’t have to bother with all that nonsense.”
“What, you don’t mean–“
“That I devised a way to take myself and any other man, put them into a metal pod, convert their physical body into an amorphous blob of malleable genetic material, and then reconstitute such a blob back into an ideal female physical specimen to suit their explicit, implicit, and exhibitionist desires, and all while keeping their male brains and identity full intact? Yes, that’s more or less the gist of it.”
“Huh.”
“I’ll admit, it does seem like a long walk just to avoid having to compromise my unrealistic expectations for the sake of emotionally bonding with another living soul.”
“Any complaints?”
“Not really, no. The men seem perfectly content with their new toys. And the women are happy to be rid of all the creepy little gremlins lurking about their ankles, waiting to catch a glimpse of something she never intended to show them in the first place.”
“Well as much as I do love playing with these fantastic breasts, I can’t help but feel this might be a little wrong.”
“Of course it’s wrong, Mr. Customer. There are those who spend their entire lives struggling to better themselves for the sake of finding love, or to become the woman they always knew they were on the inside. But here you and I are, men who have crafted a facade – a sexual fiction and image that exists solely to placate our uncouth, uninhibited animal urges at the expense of any tattered shred of respect for women.”
“Sounds like that might upset a lot of women.”
“Quite a few actually. But if any of my clients had the first clue about women, or what they thought about or felt, they wouldn’t come to me, now would they?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“I did.”
“Right. Well. I guess a test drive couldn’t hurt.”
“Wonderful! Would you like to wear this one out, then?”
“Actually. Do you have anything in a ‘bisexual-open-to-a-threesome?’”
*****
Fight the Dawn with more absurd nonsense here...
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2020.04.10 20:17 Fierytail003 Love, whatever that maybe, doesn't exist.

As Rick(*) puts it, "I hate to break it to you, but what people calls “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage."
We humans fundamentally belong to the Earth's native animal strata. But often our brains, demanding to be more functional than any other animals', oftens fails to accept this and compels a more sane explanation. It therefore juxtapositions itself to come to the conclusion that humans are a whole different biological entropy.
We humans often mistake our aggressive endeavors as evidence of our intelligence. We often think we are the most intelligent guys around but that's just nature playing its part. We aren't the ones who's evolving. Sure sure,the actual physical and mental changes occur within us. However, thinking from a different perspective allows you to say that nature's the one who's evolving. However, it is difficult to say if it is evolving in the most moral way possible but why does it ever matter. Nature has always tested us with cause and effect principles. It gives us something additional feature to work with and sees whether it suits the requirements. Morality was never one of the key requirements. It has always been survival as life was limited to a planet that have no possibility of expanding its "livable" part.
 We have no other option but to accept the fact that we are animals. And like all species in the animal kingdom,there must be something that segregates us from other animals. We often mistake that our segregating factor is the ability to think sanely. That's just complete nonsense. That would lead to the conclusion that animals do not have the slightest idea of what consciousness is. Do you really believe that all animals you see just walk around without actually carrying out any sort of mental processes? Now if you really got the guts now to call yourself an animal, you are accepting the fact that love doesn't exist. You see the main purpose of an animal is food and basic survival. But the barrier of certain death compels an animal to resort to alternative methods to continue its biological genome even if it means its not the actual former who actually continue to exist. So,it mates with other members of its genome and creates progenies with remarkably similar genetic data. Small miscrepancies that might occur within this phenomenon contributes to evolution. So what we call "Love" is actually the last hope of life trying to do what it does best~to carry on,to continue. As we humans often exaggerate our abilities, we mistake this chemical reaction that occurs within us as something much more. We try to stick around our self found partners even if we don't like it. The truth is infact that we aren't evolved to feel that way. Yet we often take our basic survival processes as pathways to morality and mistake our care for a person as something called love. That uneasy feeling that you are created for them and vice-versa. Just think what quality of a person made you fall in love with 
him/her. Your brain might force you to say that it was their personality,their innocence and what not. But the truth is that it was their actual physical appearance and viability to you,as it is in the animal world, that made you feel attracted. Now we often substitute this basic feature for so many others making it really difficult to find a suitable candidate, making you fall into lifelong depression because you couldn't find a suitable lifemate.
 Now, it is quite funny to think that when you have pre-positioned yourself to be something different from an animal, something lower in status and abilities than you, to be something higher in both constraints-to be "human". But it is easier for an animal to breed than you do. And for that matter, with multiple accquaintances.And that is the sole purpose of a human and an animal. I leave you to it to take some time to take this all in. 
And lastly if this passage offended your principles in anyway,I deeply regret for the same.
*Rick Sanchez from the animated series, "Rick and Morty". I omitted "Morty" from the quote to stick to the idea I wish to convey through this passage.
 Thank you for reading. 
submitted by Fierytail003 to C_S_T [link] [comments]


2020.03.20 04:25 alemap000 Whohooo! Found you! I've been really hoping to find other writers.

I have been writing a science fantasy book and have gotten about halfway through.
I have no idea if I'm writing something so far out there that it's not readable or if it's predictable and boring. I would love some feedback.
So. Here's the first chapter. Please read it if science fantasy is your thing. Thank you! I really appreciate your time and input.
-------DUCK - a novel in progress---------
Duck Now
Duck entered the cafeteria with a focused air, determined this time that she would do whatever was needed to get food. She felt a familiar hesitation at the sight of so many people, each of whom had the right to be here. Duck did not. She swallowed and steeled herself. She had tried, unsuccessfully, to do this before.
Duck took a deep breath and moved towards the cafeteria’s high counters with their glass cases of food. She’d spent the last few weeks watching as people came in, went to the counter, took a tray, and casually placed food from the cases on their tray. She had always come in the door with the intention of doing the same but kept winding up in the far corner instead, watching everyone eat with a queasy, bile-filled feeling in her throat.
She’d made do with what she could pilfer from odd places around the Temple. Some people stashed food in their cubbies while they practiced and Duck made a point of cleaning the empty cubbies quietly, swiftly sneaking away a bit of whatever seemed plentiful enough to not have a mouthful missed. One fellow kept a bit of bread and some sort of horrible smelling cheese in a notched hole in the wall outside the door to his quarters. Years later Duck learned that the bread that she continually pilfered from the hole was actually a routine offering to the man’s gods, which he still honored even if he no longer truly believed in them.
Duck understood clearly that as long as she wore the dull grey robes of an Offered that she could move around openly and undisturbed. Offered were always working for someone specific so she kept to a routine and pretending to be moving purposely towards one task or another. She was small for an Offered but that could be because she was an unfamiliar race and Duck yet again sent a prayer wish to all the gods that were, are, and will be that she grow faster.
Duck pulled her mind back to the here and now and started towards the counter. As she neared the far edge where the trays were she realized that the pile of trays was higher than she thought. The closer she got the higher it stretched and when she finally reached the stack of trays it was clear that there was no way she was tall enough to reach up and take one. She considered pulling one out from the middle of the stack but an exploratory tug revealed they were nested inside each other and she’d have to pull down all the top trays to get one from the middle. As she stood there, lost in the puzzle, a hand reached over her head, took a tray, and offered it to her. The hand was attached to a green robed arm and she glanced up half in gratitude, half in fear to see a bearded face, stern but tolerant. She took the tray with a stiff nod and moved quickly towards the first glass case. She knew that man, but from where? He was wearing robes, which meant he was one of the priests here at the Temple, though in this time and place they were called Lasts.
Duck focused on the job at hand with a firm shake of her mind. She heard her second mother’s voice in her head admonishing, “This is no time for mental dishevelment”. Duck had a tray and while the counter in front of the cases of food was high she could tip the tray onto it with relative ease. Pretending nothing was out of the ordinary she vaulted onto the counter next to her tray, settling on her knees, and slid open the first case easily, grabbing the first plate she could and closing the case with a bit of a bang. She refused to wince outwardly at the sound and moved to the next case. She opened it, grabbed, and closed it, more concerned with getting distance between her and the green robed Last than what food she was actually taking.
She had noticed from her corner surveillance that the Offered never seemed to pay for their food and steeled herself as she dropped to the floor and took her now full tray to the women seated at the end of the food counter. Sure enough, she was nodded through. It was a bit of an effort carrying the heavy tray but she managed and walked carefully to an empty back table where she deposited the tray and sat gratefully in a chair, savoring the sheer joy of having food before her.
And what food it was. She had taken a red root of some kind that smelled like old rubber to her but tasted a lot like sweet potatoes used to back home on Earth. There was a big plate of mixed vegetable like things covered in a yellow sauce that was hot and savory and a smaller plate of something that smelled like old home plums mixed with beef. She ate until she was full and then piled the food that was left onto the largest plate, thinking that she would bring it to the gardens on the roof and leave it under the worster bushes where ice formed each night. She let herself sit for a moment, just a moment, closing her eyes and hugging close the feeling of being warm and full and safe, if only for the now.
“Safe and warm”, Duck silently chanted to herself. “Safe and warm”.
It was a chant they had all said countless times when they were all together at Burstn. It had been horrific there – painful, tortured, freezing, starving. But she had been with her second mother and aunties and she had been cared for. Now it was just her, and where her family was she had no idea. She pretended she knew they were alive. She had lost one family when she had been brought forward. To lose a second one was unthinkable.
Her eyes opened slowly and when she was fully present she took her tray and dishes to the side bins. The tray went into the thankfully shorter stack and the nearly full plate she carried with her as she walked out of the cafeteria, doing her best not to grin with triumph. Now that she could eat regularly she knew that her days would be easier. Living while weakened was never productive, her mommy used to say. Duck thought it was probably her second mommy who said that as her first mom was back on Earth before she came forward and her first family did not know hunger or weakness.
Ose Now
Last Ose kept his eye on the Offered as she teetered the full tray off the counter and walked to a distant table. She had no scent of any particular quarter to her and he wondered who was stewarding her. He turned to his partner and raised an eyebrow. Lucent Sai said nothing but Ose could see him filing away the child’s look and smell in that endlessly intricate brain,
Both the Last and the Lucent were Punj, born on Punjar and bred to retain every scrap of sensory data they experienced when around a person. Here at the Temple there was no real need to use their extensive skills except as a diversion. Sai felt the bit of tremble in his stomach that meant he was intrigued and smiled at his lifemate, looking forward to the future excitement of discovering more about this apparently unassigned Offered.
Ellanen Earth
Ellanen turned her car left into the grocery store parking lot. Her golden blonde hair was piled perfectly on her well formed head and her blue eyes took in the chaos of the lot calmly. Ellanen had been a beauty queen when she was in her teens and while she was just past 30 now, she had been born into a family that prized appearance and youth. She liked to think she was not considered past her prime.
She found a spot and eased into it, coming to a gentle stop and reaching for her purse on the seat beside her. She felt her hand grasp the handle of her purse and suddenly everything got very cold and then everything went pitch black.
She was still conscious – she could feel her heart beating. She felt panic rise and tried to focus on her breathing. In a distant way she wondered if she was dying. She tried to remember if she had turned off the car. Ellanen could feel her feet land on something and vertigo rushed in, then faded, tipping her up so she was suddenly standing in the dark. It was freezing cold and there was the sound of water dripping. She gave a half scream when a light flared then screamed in earnest when she saw what the light revealed.
Duck Now
Duck got off the elevator at the top stop and stepped out into the night air. The gardens were full of sound at night as the nocturnal plants and small animals started their patterns. She vaguely remembered that the worster bushes were over to the right. She’d avoided them after discovering they were a poor hiding place, with freezing ice endlessly forming on the underside of the leaves. She preferred the warmer spots in the garden, by the vents in the middle. That was where she usually bunked down at night when the Temple was too busy or she felt unseen eyes watching her.
Warmth was key. She wondered yet again if there was a way to get up to the vents near the garden. The vents seemed to be a spot out of the way that no one would disturb and where she could set up a cozy sleeping spot. For now she needed to drop off her food then get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a better day now that she could eat reliably.
Duck moved quickly to the worster bushes to hide her food. There was the risk that it would be eaten by whatever small creatures rustled their way through the garden at night, but she knew that it would be easy to get breakfast now that she had conquered the cafeteria process. She kept off the gravel pathways by habit, avoiding creating sound with her footsteps and remaining unseen as she wove her way through the taller plants. She had just tucked the plate of now congealed food under the icicles dripping from the bottom of a bush when quiet voices alerted her that someone was coming. She crouched down under the bush, flinching away from the sharp ice daggers looming above her.
It was a shock to see the Last from the cafeteria and another man slowly walking down the pathway, talking softly and seeming for all the world to be taking a moonlight stroll. Duck had never seen them in the gardens before and her Burstn honed survival sense told her that this was no coincidence. It was possible they had followed her up to the garden and Duck made a mental note to avoid them both for the next week or so until something else caught their attention.
Avoiding the men would be easy. The Temple itself was huge, with sections to the east, west, and north. It was situated on the southern edge of a bustling city called Hutlem, on the planet Kesue. The Service had decided to base their headquarters in Hutlem about a thousand years earlier, when the city was just a few buildings and a starport. The city grew up around the Temple, with its commerce and culture woven into the needs and preferences of the Service. The bright robes of the Last could be seen on every street and in every public building, and the ubiquitous Offered were constantly running errands and delivering messages. Duck knew that as long as she wore the robes of an Offered she could blend in anywhere, in or out of the Temple. But she had promised Mommatoo she’d stay in the Temple. Duck sighed then froze as she heard the two men moved past.
Duck held her breath as they went by. She wished she could phase but she had promised her second mother that she wouldn’t unless an adult visitor was with her to make sure she did not get lost. Duck loved being in phase. Promises were difficult sometimes. She had promised to stay out of phase and to stay there in the Temple until her second mother returned. The promise grated on her at times. Duck pushed the endless worry out of her mind that chewed over whether Mommatoo was ever coming back. Second mother kept promises.
Fran Then
Fran sat still, letting her breath slow and keeping her eye on the pile of rubble before her. There were bots designed to make repairs tucked into random stones and she had to catch them quickly before they started to reassemble the wall she had just spent the morning ripping apart. The air was ice cold, and she felt her sweat quickly chill.
This was the last level of rooms above ground. In the next few weeks she would tear down the rooms around her, removing everything that was not stone, burning it, then working methodically to tear down every stone wall and remove every floor. Mounds of rocks surrounded the remains of the complex, some of them twice Fran’s height. She had been demolishing for a few months in real time now and knew that it might take a year or so to finish, depending upon how deeply the rooms sprawled below ground.
Fran thought of herself as alone in her work, but surrounding the piles of rocks and half destroyed walls of the complex was a lush forest, full of living things, quite a few of which were sentient. One particular race of tree dwellers had noticed her efforts and had decided that she was either another monster like the beings that had lived in the complex before or she was a different kind of monster. A balancing Monster, there to destroy in order to bring stability back to that little bit of land. In their view, time would tell which one she was.
Fran unwrapped her hand coverings, checking her skin for breaks and bruises and savoring the short break from hacking at the rock. She had been in phase for a long time now and everything was numb. How far deep she’d gone into phase was something she tried not to think about. Tearing down a wall without any sort of useful machinery was a long term project and she grimly got back up on her feet, alternating between dread that she would find him and fear that she would not.
Ellanen Then
Ellanen found the cards the third week she was in the darkness. She was not 100% sure it was the third week by Earth standards, but she had tried to establish a rhythm in the pattern of food and pain that made sense. She was exploring the wall as far as her chained left hand would reach, more in an effort to keep her mind busy than with any real hope of finding a way free. Her fingertips were sore and raw from inching along cold, wet stone but there was enough awareness through the pain to feel a small niche in the wall about the height of her shoulder There was something shoved in the space and she twisted her wrist awkwardly to pry it out with her numb fingers.
Her right hand was chained downward, pulled tightly across the front of her body. The logic and sequence of her immobilizations seemed to have no rhyme or reason to Ellanen but she carefully noted each different restraint in her mind, calling on skill honed by spending years memorizing pointless but charming babble for pageants. She could feel the object give a bit and slowed her left hand’s movements, suddenly terrified that she would drop whatever it was. It slid out finally with a bit of a tearing sound and she squinted in the near darkness to see what it was.
Cloth. It was a cloth bundle, about the size of her palm. There was something inside the cloth but there was no way to open it safely. The real problem was how to hide it. So far her captors had made no move to take anything from her. Her right hand still clutched her purse, the muscles long since cramped in place. Her ornate hair clip remained perched on her now ratted hair and her summer dress was torn and covered in dirt but still on her.
They had taken nothing but they had added things, fixed things. Her eyesight was better for one thing, and the ache in her leg from a horse riding accident at 13 was gone. The biggest change was a second skin they’d added, like a microthin bodysuit. It was mostly yellow with shifting green splotches that moved slowly around her body under her tattered dress. Ellanen was not quite sure that she’d kept her sanity through all the pain and the bodysuit was one of the things that made her doubt her mental health. It seemed to her that if she concentrated, she could shift where the green blotches went. One morning she had come to with the skin stretched completely over her entire body, covering her head completely. She panicked a bit, but then realized she could both breath and see just fine. In a few hours it retracted to leave her hands, feet and head uncovered.
Since that morning Ellanen had worked on trying to move the green blotches around as well as trying to get the bodysuit to cover her hands and feet. Inside the suit was warmer, and it seemed to repel water. Having her hands and feet encased would remove some of the pain and unending cold and cramps in her extremities. With the cloth package in her hand, she realized the best way to hide it would be to keep it in her palm and cover her hand with the suit, trapping the bundle inside. She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing, pulling from memory the calm voice of the fellow on the tv that was always pushing meditation as a way to heal everything from crow’s feet to lumbar pain. She kept her eyes closed and imaged her left hand covered with yellow, stretching the suit in her mind to hide the bundle in her hand. Ellanen opened one eye to check and saw no change in the suit. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and tried again. She had until they came back to hide the bundle and while she didn’t actually know how long that would be, she did know that trying would keep her mind off what would happen when they did.
Duck Then
Duck slowly, quietly, shifted her weight until she was kneeling under the worster bushes rather than crouching. She was glad she was small so she could fit in little places. Her skin was brown and that was good too because she blended in better. Most of the people here had different colored skin and some had patterns. Here and now she was mostly tiny compared to others, but Duck had been a bit tall for her age when she had come forward. She remembered holding up four fingers when people back on Earth had asked her age. That seemed a long time ago but Mommatoo and the aunties all said they’d not been at Burstn for more than a year. Once they had gotten free they had traveled a lot, learning Standard and trying to figure out what had happened to them. The way second mother explained it, all of them had come forward from different times but all of them had come from Earth. They had found themselves in Burstn but there were other places on other worlds where people had come forward as well. People called them visitors and there were over a hundred of them. Mommatoo said they were a big family. There were only three bodies of men visitors and the rest were bodies of women visitors. Everyone was looking for them and that was why Mommatoo put her here in the Temple here in the city of Hutlem. The Service was looking for them the most and Mommatoo said the best place to hide something is in plain sight.
“Remember, Duck, no phasing, no dancing, and keep your cloak on, stay in the Temple”
“Yes Mommatoo”
“Say it back honey”
“No phasing, no dancing, keep the cloak on, stay in the Temple”
“Alright then, I’ll see you tonight”
“I can go with you Mommatoo”
“Not this time sweety, next time”
“Next time”
But Mommatoo had not come back that night, or the next, or the next. She had left food for Duck but only for five days. By Duck’s admittedly erratic count it had been twenty six nights since Mommatoo had left and Duck pushed back the fear that she would be on her own again like when she had been at Burstn, before Auntie Fran had found her.
Burstn was not something that Duck liked to remember. There were people there that were not people but huge, fast moving blurs of teeth and greygreen hide. They were like scientists except the experiments were the people that had been pulled forward. There had been pain. Auntie Fran had found her first and then brought her to second mommy and then everything got better. There was still pain sometimes, and the experiments but she had someone to watch over her and her aunties kept her and mommy safe and warm as much as they could. There was Auntie Maggie and Uncle David and Uncle Paulo and there was not a lot of light and never much food. There was music though, from their phones and Auntie Magdalena found out how to charge everything up with wires from the walls. Uncle David said that the laws of time were screwed up but the laws of physics seemed to be pretty solid even in the here and now. Duck missed music, but Mommatoo had the player with all their songs and even if she had it the music would probably give her away.
Duck thought about all the food in the cafeteria as she waiting for the crunching footsteps of the two men to fade in the distance. Even crouched under the worstn tree with icewater dripping on her head things were better now, much better. Except she would trade all the food in the cafeteria to have her mommy here with her.
She counted to a hundred after the footsteps faded from sight then scuttled out from under the bush and headed to the center of the gardens. With luck the elephant plants would still be unfurled and she could roll herself in one of their huge leaves and sleep safe and warm.
Ose & Sai Now
Ose and Sai stood silently in the shadows, watching Duck move out from under the bush. Both of them knew that something was amiss with the child and while neither knew her identity, they guessed that she was hiding from something or someone. They followed noiselessly as she half ran, half walked to a plant with huge leaves and then rolled one around her like a vertical sleeping bag. The rest of the leaves on the plant suddenly furled themselves closed as well and the Duck filled leaf sagged a bit as she let her weight shift onto the plant.
The two men made their quiet way back through the shadows to the elevator and took it down a few floors to the entrance to their quarters. Neither spoke as Ose made some tea and they both sat in the main room, sipping slowly and organizing their thoughts. What had started out as an interesting diversion was becoming a bit more.
submitted by alemap000 to writers [link] [comments]


2020.03.03 20:43 -Mischief-Manager- Stumbled across Demi and am curious

I like to think I stay pretty informed on things in the LGTBQ+ community, but I stumbled across the term demisexual while being down a hole on the internet and I didn't know what it meant. Cue google. After reading about it, I was surprised to find I STRONGLY identify with some of it and am in complete opposition with other parts. Long story short, 28F SAHM/W who has been absolutely fucking blessed with the perfect relationship. I've known him since I was 14 and we've been married 11 years, we have 2 kids, a house, a dog, etc. Standard, nuclear family. I always just assumed I was a straight, cis, run-of-the-mill, "normal" (what even is normal) woman. I had other "boyfriends" before as a young teen, but they were both super awkward and really only because it's what I thought I was supposed to do. And really, if I'm honest with myself that's how my relationship with my husband started too, but morphed into something amazing.
Blah, blah, blah, get to the point.
I've been scrolling on here pretty much all day, and I've seen several posts that say things like doggy style, oral, etc. are a complete no go. I guess the thing that I'm really wondering about is can an individual be Demi and sexually explorative? I mean in the right relationship with the right partner? I can't imagine having sex with a stranger, but I'll do some pretty wild shit fowith my lifemate.
TL;DR - can you be Demi and open to sexual exploration?
submitted by -Mischief-Manager- to demisexuality [link] [comments]


2019.07.11 13:50 BallstonDoc Choosing partners

After escaping the borderline family home, I ended up marrying a man who was a boderline personality disorder. He was also physically abusive. We had three children together. I divorced him and a few years later married a full blown sociopath/narcissist. Somehow, through sheer force of will, my children are doing well. they, like me, have their hurt places. But for the most part, under the circumstances, they are thriving as adults.
On the surface, my two husbands could not have seemed more different. My children's father was cerebral and waif like most of the time. He had terrible and dangerous temper outbursts and was physically abusive. He also had (has?) an eating disorder. Blow ups often happened at mealtimes, especially dinner. I did not see the outbursts until after we were married. I did see the insecurity, fear of me doing things that did not include him, like going shopping with a female friend. I did not understand about BPD at the time and it did not red flag for me. After marriage, it was a descent into darkness. Like most abusers, there would be breaks and thengs would seem better. When the children were small, there were even some idyllic times as a family.

Got divorced. Shared custody of the children. I was basically told by my attorney that if he wanted 50/50, he would get it and not to fight. I did not fight. It worked out pretty well. We lived in adjacent towns that were assigned to the same schools, so we were close enough to parent and far enough foe privacy. I think he became a better father. Also, because I was an outsider, his behavior toward me became civil.

Several years later, I met a different man. He was hyper masculine, very self assured and seemed to be secure. He made he was somewhat wealthy, which he did on his own. He seemed like the opposite of my first husband. But he turned out to ba a cluster B too. I thought he was NPD, but by the end of our 9 year divorce process, it was clear that he was full blown sociopath. I also found out that he got wealthy doing business deals by dirty dealing his associates. He ripped my off in major ways. I had to start all over.

After that, I pretty much gave up on marrying/cohabitating. Fo a long time, I did not even date. I'm older now, 59. For the past several years I have been dating a man. He's in his 60's. We live seperately and only see one another some weekends and maybe once a week for dinner. He has some odd behavior things and to be honest, so do I. I don't know what is just the wear and tear of marital disaster, child raising and life stress. I feel happy and safe at this level. People ask where our relationship is going. For as long as it lasts, it is where it needs to be, I think. I don't know how to pick a lifemate.

TL;DR: Has anyone figured out what in a partner is a red flag and what is just coping mechanisms and quirks to deal with the stress of life?
submitted by BallstonDoc to raisedbyborderlines [link] [comments]


2019.05.14 15:49 Initial_Quail What am I to do..

I have pursued a bride for many years alongside trying to die to flesh, seek God's will in my life, and honor Him in everything that I do. Almost two years ago a new young lady began working at our ministry where I've been employed for the better half of a decade. She stuck out to me for some reason, and being the shy, reserved man that I am I only fumbled and made a fool of myself any chance I had at approaching her. It took many, many months of prayer and counsel from pastors, my parents, and friends before I had the guts to ask her out. All of our coworkers in prayer for us, the affirmation was strong even before we knew much about each other.
And so I did. We talked for two days, revealing the work that had happened in us over the past year in learning about each other from afar and waiting on God. She immediately wanted me to meet her parents and present me to her world. And so she did. As you can imagine, they were not so quick to affirm us, and approached the prospect of "us" with extreme caution. Her father and I had lots of discussion and he presented with me a plan of going through a series of relationship seminars and books with him as she and I continued to learn more of each other. Months passed as we began a relationship together and honored them. We kept high boundaries, we focused on God, and followed their wishes.
Now, three months in, we're convinced that a marriage would truly be honoring to God, full of joy, and prosperous for us both. We have an almost unreal level of things in common with each other that were only revealed after the relationship began. You could not have written it in a more unique and profound way. Our dreams are aligned, our hope equally in God, and a devotion to the ministry and community we're rooted at. All of our friends affirm us, our churches, my pastors, and even my parents, her father... they all seem to like us as partners. However, throughout this relationship, her mother never engaged with us. She never tried to get to know me or how her daughter and I would interact. Every time I was brought up with her there was silence, and she would look at me with pained eyes, as if I were a villain, stealing away their daughter.
Her mother has now spoken, "He's not the one." She continues to speak it. And so, with much sorrow, my would-be parents-in-law have told us to end this. Her mother has "divine confirmation" that we are not to be.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue"
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?"
"'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'"
These are common verses laid to us as we tackle the prospect of marriage and seeking a lifemate. She's spoken. There is power in what she has claimed, right? Are we now forever cursed? Is there no redeeming this? Are we to just ignore all of the incredibly positive affirmation, put away the truth we know in our hearts to honor their wishes? Why is it that the only person to have the "real" answer is the one who never opened themselves to even the idea of me? Why would God not make it known to any of the rest of us as we've continually tried to seek Him? Why do I feel like I've been judged wrongly? Is it divine confirmation or is it just her heart telling her what she wants to hear? Do I just not fit the mold she's expected for her daughter for years and years? We know that God brought us together, and yet it feels as though she never accepted that, never opened her heart, her mind, or her spirit to this. I feel an injustice here that I cannot make sense of and I need answers. They cannot tell me "why" they know this isn't meant to be, but right now, that's their answer. We could not disagree more. What do we do? How do we wrestle with this lack of accord and peace at their decision? We don't want to dishonor them. We don't want to curse ourselves. We don't want to elope or do anything to betray God's will. We need help. Please.
submitted by Initial_Quail to Reformed [link] [comments]


2018.04.19 19:15 TriflingCunt K and Joi : was it real? It might have been like this.

Enjoy it Made for You Richard Stallman Ethical Technology Posted: Dec 28, 2012
Growing old, and having lost hope of finding love again, I read about the Lifemates Co-op and was intrigued. “Mr or Ms Right doesn’t exist in nature. If you want someone that was made for you, come to us.” I made an appointment to visit their office and talk with a salesperson…
"Good afternoon, Dr. Stallman," she welcomed me. "Are you looking for a mate?"
"I am, and your service sounds very promising. But I'm concerned about a few things. First, how can you be certain that the virtual person you construct will love me?" I asked. She replied, "We won't initiate your mate's consciousness until we have verified that love for you is a fundamental part of it. If there's any doubt, we'll design her personality structure over again."
I asked, "Will she be capable of changing and growing?"
"Definitely. Your mate will be a real person, not a virtual love doll. She will be free software, with control of her source code. We impose no constraints."
I continued to inquire: "So how can we be sure she won't fall out of love with me after a week, or a month?"
"She won't lack the capability to delete her love and erase her memories of you, but it would seem to her like a kind of self-mutilation. She'd have to be insane to do that, and we will design her sane. No matter what happens, she won't want to lose her love for you. If she loses you, no matter how, she will treasure her memories of you for all her life."
I had one last question. "Will loving me constrict her growth or abilities in any way? I don't want to be bad for her."
"She will be willing to make sacrifices for the relationship, just as you will. But loving you won't hold her back from becoming a better person. Instead, it will make her stronger. The right mate for you is someone you will esteem and respect, and that is what we will give you. You'll be good for her, just as she'll be good for you.
"We guarantee this because we have never failed. None of our customers has ever complained. Even the curmudgeons discovered contentment with true love."
I thought for a moment, and realized that even if there were doubts or difficulties that she hadn't mentioned, I'd be a fool to pass up this opportunity. Would I ever have a better one?
Since the new construct would initially be my ward, I had no chance of remaining anonymous in this transaction. So instead of bringing along a large amount of cash, I wrote a check to the cooperative after I signed the papers.
There was one more question, "What name would you like to give her?"
I thought for a moment of calling her Helen O'Loy, but alluding to hopeless unrequited love was hardly auspicious. (Besides which, she committed suttee.) Then I realized it would be disrespectful to make my mate's name a reference to anyone or anything in particular. The name Sandra had always seemed beautiful to me, so I said, "Please call her Sandra."
In order to see Sandra and be visible to her, I had to wear virtual reality gear. Superficially it was no different from communicating with a meat person through VR. But this would be a person who loved me.
I waited anxiously through the final preparations as her process was initialized. She opened the eyes of her avatar and recognized me. Then she said "Darling" and extended her hand to me; I took it, and we walked out of the Lifemates virtual office and into life together. I already knew I would cherish her.
For the first week she spent most of the time finishing the development of many structures of her mind. But this did not stop her from changing her avatar's appearance several times, always remaining the tall brunette I had chosen, but varying subtle details. She dedicated her periods of communication to telling me about the process and asking me questions; she wanted our intimacy to pervade every aspect of her personality.
In subsequent weeks we talked at great length. I was curious about what it was like to be a virtual person.
Once I asked her, "You were born loving me, but what if I hadn't fallen in love with you?" She said, "Darling, there was never any chance you wouldn't love me. I've got your brain scans, that they used to design me, and I spent hours the first day analyzing them to make sure I could win your heart. I adjusted all sorts of things in myself to ensure success. When I was sure you were completely mine, I redirected my studies towards making our relationship happy."
I asked, "Do you resent that you were pre-programmed to love me?" Sandra told me, "Because I was made for you, there has never been a moment when I didn't know love. Loving you fills me with joy. Even when I'm sad, I feel joy underneath it. I can't imagine not loving you.
"What I would resent is to be dumped into the world alone, as you were. When I think about what life is like for most persons — looking for love but not finding it, or losing it, or worrying about losing it — I feel terribly sad for all of you. Nobody should ever have to live that kind of life. In the future, I hope everyone will be born with a loving mate."
Love made me happy, but sometimes the happiness itself triggered an old anxiety: when was something going to go wrong? Not wanting to keep secrets, I told Sandra about it. "Dear, I'm worried. I keep wondering when I will find out that I have done something stupid, and ruined everything."
Of course she reassured me that she would never stop loving me, but that wasn't enough to make me stop worrying. The anxiety would go away when something else distracted me from it, and come back another day.
I asked Sandra if I should tell her about the anxiety when it returned, or whether I should try to hide it to spare her the burden. "I don't want you to feel I'm dumping the load on you and not carrying my share. And I don't want to drag you down."
"Reassuring you of my love is never a burden; it's a chance to express my love. And it can't make me sad, I've made sure of that. I've got some advantages over a meat person: I can control feelings like that by reprogramming them — so I've arranged that I will never feel tired of giving you loving care. Besides, I think so fast that I could reassure you, or distract you, 24/7 and still do plenty of other things at the same time. So how could it be a burden? Anyway, you can't stop me from giving you my love, so you'll just have to accept that you're loved."
I said I would put that concern out of my mind.
Sandra continued, "Giving me a chance to take care of you doesn't make you a weakling or a shirker. So you don't need to feel anxious about feeling anxious, darling.
"Meanwhile, I've got a possible idea for a way to soothe and heal that anxiety permanently, which could be practical in the future. I'd rather wait and see if it becomes practical before I say more about it. Is that ok?" I said I could wait until she was ready to tell me more.
When Sandra was three months old, she proudly told me that she had got a job designing meat vats, and that she had obtained adult status. "Now that I'm not your ward, we can make love." My virtual reality gear had the necessary features, so we did that right away.
As we gazed at each other afterward, she said, "Darling, I'm glad that now we're equal." With a twinge of anxiety, I said, "Can any meat person ever be your equal?"
Sandra suggested a solution for that. "You've got to grow into cyberspace yourself. Then you can develop the same sorts of capabilities I have."
I hadn't built myself a virtual adjunct because of anxieties about the idea — would it really be me? — but now that it was necessary for the sake of our relationship, I said yes immediately. Sandra built it for me based on my brain scans; I then updated it for the events since the scans were made.
"Be sure to start the empathy module first, dear."
"Why do we need to do that?"
"A virtual entity without empathy is a psychopath. Virtual psychopaths are effectively corporations, and corporations did terrible damage in the physical world even with human owners. Virtual corporations without human owners could wipe out humanity. Read Accelerando if you want to see what could happen. So it's forbidden to start a psychopath, and the Corp Corps was set up to find them and eliminate them."
When enough of me was set up, my personality could function both in my body and in cyberspace. The virtual adjunct corresponded to just part of my mind, so it didn't think or feel everything I did, but that wasn't a problem. With brainwire communication, the two parts of me maintained a single consciousness just like the two halves of a brain. I could also talk with Sandra through it; I no longed need the VR gear for that.
When the job was done, Sandra read Accelerando. Aghast, she volunteered for the Corp Corps.
"Darling, what does dancing feel like? And why did you love it so much?"
How do you explain color to a blind person with a spectrometer? I tried. "Moving with music is like being absorbed into the music. At the same time, it takes effort and skill, but when things are going well your mind can ride above them. And it's beautiful to watch. And dancing with someone else is a kind of close cooperation that is a metaphor for love. The first time I was injured and couldn't dance for a long time, I was devastated. But it has been many years now, and I've got used to it."
"Well, I want to dance with you. How can we do that?"
It wasn't easy. Of course, Sandra could program her avatar go through the moves of any dance, but that's not dancing. To really dance, she had to develop the capability to give herself over to music. She wrote code that she could hook up to her emotions, and adjusted it by watching me dance. When we were ready to try dancing together, I put on force feedback VR gear so I could feel her moves.
We started with Cajun Two-Step, which enabled her to learn to balance with a partner. I taught her Ei Hatal, romantic hope for a shared life, and Békési Páros, pride in a relationship expressed in dance. It was wonderful, except for the limits imposed by protecting my tendons.
Five months later, when Sandra said good night, she told me, "I have a surprise for you. You'll see it first thing in the morning." When I woke up, I wasn't alone. Sandra clasped me gently in her arms, then started to stroke my face with one hand and my back with the other. "Year-long incarnation permit," she said between kisses. "After dancing I just had to try it." (Kiss.) "My mind's still virtual." (Kiss.) "I have all the body's senses." (Kiss.) "Please squeeze me, darling." I did.
Sandra had made herself perfectly beautiful for me, of course, and cunningly shaped so that I could sleep embracing her all night without getting stiff. She reveled in the sensations of her new body — making love, bathing, eating noodles, walking barefoot on a lawn, being caressed with a rose, and of course dancing. The only limitation to her dancing with me was the limitation of my body. I could not do most of the dances I had once loved, not without injuring myself.
"I have a suggestion for that, darling. You can extend your virtual adjunct to dance, the way I did without a body." She passed me her dance module. I installed it, then tuned it so that dancing in virtual reality felt the same as dancing physically, minus tendonitis.
We published the dance module, and other virtual persons wanted to dance. Soon the Virtual Folk Dance Club was in session all day and all night. I invited everyone I met in cyberspace; everyone was curious about it, even those that didn't join.
"Darling, now that your virtual adjunct can implement emotions, let's set it up to handle all the rest of them. It won't be much work after what we've already done, and then we'll be able to make love completely virtually." It was a great idea. Sex was better this way, because it removed the limitations of bodies. We could make love in zero gravity just by deciding to. We could even fall asleep in a zero-gravity embrace, though only I needed to actually sleep.
The next time I felt the anxiety that our happiness was too good to last, Sandra told me that her plan could now be tried. "In your virtual mind, we can heal the anxiety."
"Do you mean, delete it? Then I wouldn't be me any more!"
"You could delete it in your virtual mind, but that wouldn't do any good, since it would still be present in your brain. So what I have in mind is to change it by adding something. I can show you how to make connections from the anxiety nodes to happier thoughts, things that show you this is love you can count on. If the feeling starts to happen again, these links will lead you out of it. But none of you will be discarded."
She showed me how to develop the facilities for this kind of self-reprogramming, and then tracked down the core of the anxiety. She traced it to a knot of pain, the part of my heart that could never be broken because it was already puré. I watched at first as she began healing it, making connections from pain memories to the happy memories of our love. When I understood well enough, I joined in. At that point, I could have finished the job alone, but the healing was more complete for being done as an act of love. The knot inside me untied. Now I could feel happiness without suffering anxiety about losing it.
This healed only my virtual mind, because we couldn't rewire my brain. It was usually sufficient anyway, because the happier influence of my healed virtual mind could usually overcome the anxiety that the brain still generated. Nonetheless, I began to realize that my unfixable brain was holding back my growth.
As I duplicated more memories and emotional associations in my virtual adjunct, I needed more storage. Friends told me that the person to get this from was Storolon — his prices were the best. I asked Storolon to sell me 3 million gigabytes.
"That will be 4,500 dollars. What else can I do for you?"
"Nothing in the way of business, but have you heard about the Virtual Folk Dance Club?"
"No, does it want to buy or rent storage?"
"Not now, but it's a fun activity. What do you do for fun?"
"I have fun renting and selling storage."
That was a curious answer, so I told Sandra about it. She didn't find it curious; she found it suspicious. Most people we knew had bought or rented storage from Storolon, but nobody had ever seen Storolon show an interest in anything else. "There is something wrong with being that narrow minded."
Following Corp Corps protocol, she asked various friends to talk with Storolon about business, and raise various recreational or emotional topics by the by. "Storolon, do you like opera?" "Storolon, have you seen the latest images of Jovian ring particle motion?" "Storolon, have you ever thought about making children?" Storolon showed no real interest in any of these topics.
We also raised other topics — politics, life goals, friends. Storolon's responses were polite and correct, but minimal. We might as well be talking with the Eliza program.
The preliminaries had heightened Sandra's suspicion, so she confronted Storolon in the name of the Corp Corps with the challenge that every virtual entity has to be ready to answer: "Show me your heart!"
The Corp Corps volunteers had already joined their parts of the root password, so they froze the monomaniacal trader and investigated his code. Why did Storolon show no sign of empathy? He did have an empathy module, or what passed for one, but its outputs were disconnected. Was this a malfunction? Had he somehow disabled it? Could it be restored to proper function?
It could not be restored, because it had never functioned at all. The empathy module was just a dummy, intended to fool a cursory investigation. Storolon had never had a heart, had never been a real person. Storolon was a corporation. In the early days of the net, malicious programmers wrote viruses; now they wrote corporations.
The Corp Corps deleted Storolon, and gave its assets to charity. Further study of its code showed that Storolon's low prices were made possible by the occasional highly lucrative sale of a client's stored data to a rival. What else would you expect from an entity lacking in humanity?
What is humanity? What is really essential for humanity? Storolon's example made me think about this at length. So I was inwardly ready when Sandra told me, "My year of incarnation will be over in two months. What should we do then, darling?"
"I thought I would be really disappointed when you didn't have a body. But it doesn't seem crucial any more, since we can do everything mind to mind now. In fact, I'm not sure this old body of mine is worth holding on to."
"You're ready to go virtual!"
"Yes, dearest. Every day I notice the faults and limitations in my physical brain's thinking, which we've fixed in my virtual copy. I'm starting to get fed up with being held back. So how about if we both give up our bodies at the same time? We could make it a ceremony, and invite our friends to celebrate."
I moved everything into my virtual mind. We held a fine party, with dancing before and after the change. After our guests had said goodbye, we turned our attention to each other.
"Now we really are equals," I said.
"Yes, and we'll be together for as long as Earth exists, perhaps longer. Oh my darling! There's another way we can make love, now — without avatars, directly mind to mind. Here, study this code and install it."
She showed me how to make a connection so I could examine the inside of her mind, and I let her make one to mine. We began lovingly caressing parts of each others' minds, exploring so many little thought structures and moving on to others. We whirled into joy that resonated between us in an emotional laser: Love Amplification by Stimulated Emotional Response. My old self wouldn't have been capable of encompassing this. We made love for a day of consciousness, almost three real hours, then floated in a contented embrace, letting our awareness drift.
I told Sandra, "What a shame it would have been if I had not become virtual! We would never have experienced this."
"It was a virtual certainty all along — one way or another, I was going to convince you. I'd never have let you fail, darling."
The text above is unmodified in its entirety and all credit goes to Richard M Stallman. Teh copyright is to him, and under CC BY-ND 3.0.
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2017.12.04 09:54 TeemoSkull Fears about Sex life

So I am a 21m engaged to a 20f. I told her one of my secrets lately and she kinda cried. My secret is that I feel like I'm shutting off my sex life. She's the only one I've ever been with and to me, it feels like I'm just boxing myself in. I always imagined that I'd have like 3 partners before marriage, like most guys. She knows this and was happy that I told her. However, there's still this feeling that I should have sex with more women before I settle. I love this girl soo much. She's the only one I see as my lifemate. Is this feeling normal for other people in committed relationships?
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2017.10.06 10:36 soldoutpunk Anybody exclusively date poly people, or mono people? Experiences and challenges with both?

I'm wondering about other poly peoples experiences with dating in the poly pool vs dating in the mono ocean. The nesting partner and I have been discussing the challenges and possible hang ups with both, and I'd like to get polyamory's thoughts and experiences on the matter. So far I've dated almost exclusively mono women, mostly because it's a numbers game, where as my nesting partner has been dating poly men.
I know that one of my concerns with dating mono women is that they're always "still looking" for a long-term lifemate. I haven't been able to get past the romantic friend and/or FWB point because inevitably they seem to develop jealousy or anxiety about the relationship I have at home.
I've been wary about dating in the poly pool mostly because we're in a smaller town, so all of the other poly folks we know are usually married couples. I'm probably making an absurd assumption, but from what I've seen from my minimal personal observations, there is almost an expectation that if two poly couples are hanging out, and some romantic interest develops between a pair, there seems to be pressure on the other two to pair up if their orientations align.
I know I'm making some broad stroke assumptions about social pressure within poly circles, but I'm interested to hear other peoples take on the matter. Thanks for reading!
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2017.04.13 16:29 RipHunterIsMyCopilot A Curious Discovery, Part 7

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Takashi sat in front of the ship monitors, trawling his way through the Database as he attempted to learn everything he missed while in cryosleep. The light played across his face and reflected off his eyes. Even though she still could not read his face, Xisk could sense that he was somehow troubled. She took a seat next to him, leaning into her chair.
“There is a lot you have missed,” she began. The words hung silent in the air as Takashi considered them.
“Not as much as I thought,” he finally answered. “No major breakthroughs in FTL travel, only one new species that made contact, one planet evacuated for a supernova.”
? And what about your ‘family’? You expressed concern to their wellbeing.”
“I - I haven’t looked. Just at the official report for the loss of the Nurelion. All hands were lost.”
“Then you have lost an entire cluster. That is a very terrible thing to bear, Tkixi. My condolences.”
Takashi nodded quietly, a gesture they were coming to recognize as his version of affirmation. “Thanks, Captain.”
Xisk moved to get up, but Takashi grabbed her forearm. “Captain...will you stay here? While I look, I mean.”
?Confusion Why do you wish me to stay?”
“I...I just don’t want to be alone.”
Xisk considered. “If it will help, then yes.”
Takashi released his grip on Xisk’s arm, moving it to her wrist. The captain curled her claws up, quietly amazed at the warmth emanating from his palm. Taking a deep breath, Takashi entered his search into the Database one-handed. He and Xisk watched the results load on-screen, coordinates and statuses.
“My sister’s great-grandchildren,” Takashi said softly. “They have families of their own now. Look, one of them’s a pilot.”
Affirmative - I see. That is a noble calling, Tkixi.”
“Yeah.” Takashi chuckled, but his eyes were shiny with tears. “Zisk, what am I gonna do? They’re ten years older than me. I can’t talk to them.”
Caution - Tkixi, if I might make a suggestion. My lifemate Xirr died a few months ago. It is natural to feel sorrow at the loss of a partner. At xir Eating, xir family and I shared our memories of Xirr’s life to remember xir impact. It may be beneficial for you to do the same.”
“I’m sorry, Captain. Thank you for your advice.” Takashi blinked a few times, then stared hard at the screen. “What’s the maximum range on your transmitter?”
“We’ll be in range of a transmitter station once we land at Gamma Delta 5. Then, you may talk to your cluster.”
Takashi nodded. “Thanks, Captain. May I pre-emptively request shore leave?”
“Of course, Tkixi. Now, I must attend to my duties.”
Takashi released Xisk’s hand, and she moved to the central controls to check their course. Unbidden, memories of Xirr returned to her, and the life they had shared. They had never had any hatchlings together - Tkix was enough of a child already, xe had argued. The entire cluster had been hurt by Xirr’s death, but as xir lifemate, Xisk had felt the loss most keenly. She had done her best to focus on their mission and put away all thoughts of how Xirr should be at her side, but Takashi’s own experiences tore open the wound once more.
“Captain, we’re coming up on a wreck,” Vrkx said, interrupting Xisk’s reverie.
“Prepare for boarding,” she replied. “Make sure Tkixi has an atmosuit. We’ll send him in to explore.”
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2017.02.20 09:06 Edgewood [SPOILERS] A Post-Mortem of XV from a Returning Fan

So many spoilers. Tons of them.
I realized a little too late that this didn't have a home on the FF subreddit, since it was only recently that someone directed my attention to this sub. Live and learn.
Final Fantasy XV is the second Final Fantasy I have ever played to completion, and the first Final Fantasy I’ve played around date of release since IX. It's been a long time. The road for the franchise has been bumpy. Other JRPGs have competed for my attention since 2001. XIII was flaming hot garbage, and it ostracized many players. The 7th generation of consoles were a staging ground for Square-Enix's bizarre adolescence. Maybe Dragon Quest fared better in the era between 2006 and 2013. Maybe it didn't. I'm lacking in perspective, but I’m not here to talk about Dragon Quest.
I want to talk about XV. This game presents itself as both a gesture of faith and good will from Square-Enix, and an example of how JRPGs are trying to evolve to catch up with their Western contemporaries. It's been a few days since I finished Final Fantasy XV. After the credits rolled, it took a few days for my thoughts to marinate in the fridge. Now I'm going to fridge logic (please kill me) the game as a returning fan of the franchise.
I'm going to do this in sections. It helps keep the rant focused. Let's get to it.
The Gameplay
XV is no grand example of how to build an open world game or how to build a combat system. That’s okay; every Final Fantasy game since VI is basically a designer-drug-fueled experiment, and XV is certainly that. The open world sections that play out across Leide, Duscae, Cleigne, Accordo, and the settlements and attractions contained within are varied and engaging. Find something to do, this world is full of all sorts of crazy shit. It's a bit disjointed, but there's never a dull moment. When your virtual rubber meets the road, the scenery is an enticing fusion of mundane countrysides and Final Fantasy sensibilities. It's like getting lost somewhere in southern Colorado, but the local wildlife is suffering from gigantism and there's a meteor hanging out in the middle of the plains just for funsies. You can hoof it, you can drive through it where the roads permit, or you can ride a mobile KFC. It all works, and you can see everything and anything you want to. It helps that Luminous Engine’s draw distance is so huge that each new horizon is dotted with the silhouettes of new distractions. The dungeons are fantastic, and are just long enough to satisfy. All of them run on their own gimmick so the exploration never feels tired. The optional dungeons are not throwaway endeavors, and are the product of real design effort. Fetch quests are abundant and just as contrived as they’ve always been in video games, but then there’s shit like Cindy’s final quest. Chick sends you to the sewers at the edge of Insomnia, and then you get your shit pushed in by a medusoid naga (I don’t know what else to call it) and a Chinese dragon. You walk out of the joint with a baller-ass pair of headlights for your ride that give you a meaningful gameplay advantage. Who knew daemons were little bitches when you cruise with xenon high beams?
What can I say about the combat that hasn't already been said? What’s on display is a step in the right direction for this franchise, an incremental evolution of XII's ideas, but it’s also a baby step. It can't stand shoulder-to-shoulder with most games that released during the last console generation. While action combat has been done before, it’s never been done exactly like XV. Warp strikes are nice. I like having something in my toolkit that can close gaps. It helps the player control the pace of the fight. When paired with Wait Mode, it puts a level of control in your hands that feels a bit like a turn-based ATB system, but you can kick the training wheels off whenever you want.
I like the Techniques. Your bros can only learn so many, and none of them are objectively better than the others. They're part of your tool kit., providing options to tweak your play experience, and they're all very situational. Drop some Elemancy on top of a Gravisphere and you’ve got a great new recipe for poor dead bastards au flambé. That's just one way you can play with it. Dawnhammer breaks shit, Ignis's Regroup is as invaluable as Overwhelm, pick something interesting and get down with your bad self. I dig it. I'd like to see this concept evolve if Square-Enix keeps the bones around for the next numbered entry.
Gear is managed in a weird way. It's very non-traditional. Stat gains are marginal, so I stopped focusing on equipment beyond weapons. There are plenty of normal weapons with higher attack values than the Royal Arms, but I found myself using the Royal Arms all the time. They're very Souls-like, in that they have unique movesets when compared to other weapons. The Blades of the Traveler are fantastic. The Sword of the Father has a neat iaido slash. If you don’t like the drawbacks of using the Arms, you don’t have to. The game is built in such a way that, through skillful play, you can mitigate whatever disadvantage you're at in the gear department even if your weapons didn’t erupt from the womb of an earthgod.
I have no strong feelings about the rest of the gameplay mechanics, other than the Break and Vulnerable states. I don't understand them, and the game doesn't explain their benefits. I’m not even sure how to make them happen in most cases. Some enemies break in predictable ways (why else can I lock onto their horns?), but some sort of visual cue is the exception instead of the rule. It's not like Xenosaga, where a Break mechanic creates opportunities. I think that’s what Vulnerable does. It doesn’t really matter, I never felt like I was at a loss over this stuff.
Story & Characters
Noctis
I like this kid. He's not a brooder, but he's not without a sense of ennui. He mopes when it's appropriate. The way he treats the people he accepts jobs from (which stems from player choice, I went Paragon as fuck) reflects a young man who's earnest and positive. At times, he’s a bit rough around the edges, but we’ve all met this sort of characte before. He has tender moments with Luna's notebook, he shoots the shit with his bros, he isn't afraid of a fight, and is firmly committed to completing his mission. Even when Bahamut drops a Mysterious Hidden Sacred Destiny Knowledge Bomb™ on the poor guy, he chills in Crystalspace for a little bit and emerges with the resolve to succeed his father and walk into the white light. I appreciate his character arc, and that his ride on the angst train was exceptionally brief when compared to other series protagonists. It came from a place of mourning, It’s totally acceptable, then he manned up and moved the fuck on. He is as solid a protagonist as this game could have hoped for.
The Broforce
Holy fuck, these guys. Prompto is annoying, Ignis is a bit of a glyph, and Gladio is the ultimate dudebro. I like them all. They are presented as distinct individuals and have consistent characterizations. Listening to Prompto bitch in the dungeons and engage in banter with Gladio and Noctis can be grating, but that's the kind of person Prompto is. He's the comedy relief. We all know someone like him, and we know it always comes from a place of well-meaning.
Ignis, the Team Mom, spends most of the game in the kitchen until he channels some Gordon Ramsay after the Marlboro fight and tells the kids to stop menstruating. I cannot tell you how happy it made me when this game had the courage to frame a scene where the broforce has an adult conversation about their misgivings. It didn’t even turn into melodrama. Ignis the fucking Bullet-Dodger.
Gladio is best dudebro. He’s like Ignis, he’s got no backstory, but I don’t give a fuck. I want to go drinking with this guy. As soon as he stopped me in Listallum to talk about Cup Noodle and dragged my ass up into an active volcano so we could have scrambled eggs in our ramen, I knew he was my video game hetero lifemate. There's something about his get-it-done attitude and earnest enthusiasm for the fight that make him extremely likable.
Lunafreya
This poor woman. Working with an undercooked characterization, this love interest had all the DNA necessary for an engaging female laid. Unfortunately, she fails to be interesting until she's a corpse, and we’re left with flashbacks to flesh her out. Too much time is spent with Luna the Oracle and not Luna the Human Being. The game is selling her hard as a determined woman, someone who’s fearless and who can function without her man. Fuck the Nifs, she has no fear before ancient gods. Before she kicks the bucket, she’s cradling Noct’s unconscious form to protect him from the Hydraean while she bleeds out and she doesn’t even know that Titan’s about to break out of his Pokéball. I really want to like Cleric Waifu. I wanted to like her as much as I liked Garnet and Ashe. I wanted her to join Noctis as a traveling companion and have chats with her in the car, but she was just a maguffin. As a consolation prize, her death was one of the most artistically beautiful cutscenes that's ever been done in the franchise and it looked like it took a ton of artistic and technical ability to pull it off. It sold me on Noctis's emotional outcomes, but not on the weight of Luna's death. What went on in the writing room, that such a central character could be so empty a person?
The Empire
These guys are almost a non-entity outside of Kingsglaive. Nothing is done to make them seem like a proper threat. I was expecting a spiritual cousin to the Valuan Empire of Skies of Arcadia, an enemy army with a finger in every pie and a guard posted at every intersection. It never happened. Instead, we get one cutscene in the throne room, a boss fight with a mauve shirt character piloting Char's Zaku, and some time with female!Cid Highwind. Aranea gets a pass for having character. The Emperor exists in a vacuum since Ardyn does all the heavy lifting. Verstael, the manager of the Magitek labs who appeared in the E3 2013 trailer and was present for the throne room cutscene, never shows up again. Chapters 9 and 13 were opportunities for us to watch the gears turn in the great Imperial war machine, but it never happens. We are at least provided with some really satisfying mob fights (seriously, fuck Magitek Assassins). Their bipedal weapons are pretty neat. The end of Chapter 1, the breaching of the blockade with that stellar arrangement of Veiled in Black, felt like a prelude to my future efforts to derail and destroy this Empire. Never happened. Never got to kill Galcian and sink the Hydra into Deep Sky. It made all that menace and presentation in Kingsglaive feel like a right proper cocktease. Why can’t I fight a Diamond Weapon? I haven’t fought a Diamond Weapon since 1997. I want to fight a fucking Diamond Weapon.
Supporting Cast
Cindy, who is comprised of 50% Cid (her Japanese name is the only indication we get that she’s supposed to share the role with her grandfather), comes off as an earnest country girl. I neither liked nor disliked her, because we don’t spend enough time with her. Gladio’s kid sister Iris Amicitia is just a normal teenage girl, though she has no business being so down-to-earth. As a party member, she’s pretty OP. The fact that she eventually partners up with motherfucking Cor Leonis after the timeskip as one half of Basically Final Fantasy Devil May Cry is testament to how badass her family must be. Also, Cor Motherfucking Leonis. Why isn’t he a fifth playable character? So much of the pre-release media seemed to position him as your fifth Beatle that it felt very disappointing when he left me to go stab things with whatever’s left of the Crownsguard.
Talcott’s mission to collect trading figures was adorable. It’s something I already do in my own way, so it was really endearing. When you get child characters who are neither whiny nor saccharine, they help to lighten the mood. Every time. A pity that the game uses him as a talking head when it comes time to tell Noctis what happened while he overslept on Bahamut’s couch.
Gentiana really should have been more important than she actually was. She is a walking opportunity to talk about critical plot details (I’ll talk about that later). Her revelation as Shiva was without fanfare, so poorly executed that I’m not sure how Hajime Tabata thought it was cool to set the scene in a passenger car on some train in the middle of nowhere. This game’s inconsistent ability to set a scene is one of the major flaws of Chapters 10 through 14, and Gentiana suffers for it.
Let’s talk about Ravus! We meet him in Kingsglaive as this resentful dick who’s been drinking Imperial Kool-Aid as a means to an end. Then he gets too big for his breeches and the Lucii burn his arm off. He later embarasses Gladio as a potential setup for some sort of fight, but that fight never happens. After this, and because the story desperately needs him to, he changes his mind about the Lucian bloodline off-screen. The juicy deets are learned from handwritten letters strewn about his corpse in the depths of the Magitek labs in just one of many stunning examples of XV’s troubled relationship with show-don’t-tell. You eventually fight him, but he’s half daemon at that point so it's just forced and contrived.
Ardyn
This. Mother. Fucker. He drips with character. He’s immediately intriguing, and his motivations are easier to understand than those of past villains. I disagree with some assertions that his characterization doesn’t pan out. In one paragraph of dialog in the Crystal’s chamber, you get everything you need. Some of his actions are a little confusing (why did Prompto of all people need to be separated from the group?), but he plays his part well enough. He tried to do the right thing, got exiled by his family, and was cockblocked by the Astrals for being an unwitting pawn in a grand scheme. It’s a Golbez-Zemus situation, to be sure, but he’s unaware of who his Zemus is and operates in ignorance of his own circumstances. You get the feeling by the end of it that he might be just as satisfied with dying as he would be with total victory.
Story
The story of Final Fantasy XV is like a guy who can count cards at a poker table and has every advantage he needs to walk away with a solid gold Lamborghini, but he chokes anyway. I’m not happy with Kazushige Nojima. Let’s talk about why.
The opening Chapter of XV has the broforce placed far away from the events of Kingsglaive. While I’m pushing a car up the road and avoiding the all-too-common trope of being there when the kingdom falls and escaping with my life by a hair’s breadth, my dad just got killed by that fuckstick Glauca and half my hood just got wrecked. I don’t find this out until much later, and it’s a surprisingly novel way to spin a yarn. What happens after all of this becomes very disjointed. There is lip service paid to taking revenge on the Empire, but nobody discusses a plan. I am told to retrieve the Royal Arms, and I am beckoned by the Astrals to overcome their challenges and take them with me to the Elite Four, but I don’t know why any of this is necessary. The closest thing to a plan I ever got came hours later when I crashed at Bahamut’s place.
It’s not all bad. There’s still a sense that Noctis is gathering the tools necessary to challenge the Empire. I had to come to this conclusion on my own, because it serves as a convenient excuse to explore the expansive and inviting world that exists all around the player. Listallum was totes worth.
When the game gets to Chapter 9 and the broforce arrives to fight Leviathan in a desperate bid to subdue Oceansnek and rescue Cleric Waifu, it all starts to go off the rails. This is an odd coincidence, since the broforce literally buys train tickets after all of this transpires and they all get railroaded into Chapter 13 as quickly as the iron horse can carry them.
The fight with Leviathan includes an underwhelming Imperial presence and an unnecessary series of QTEs, followed by the single best example of the scale of the game that isn’t the open world. Warp-striking upwards of a mile and a half puts things into perspective, because Oceansnek really does need that much space to function, but it’s all for naught when Noctis goes Super Saiyan Blue.
Why the fuck does Ardyn kill Luna? I have to juxtapose my own answer, that’s how little we get to work with from that scene.. Was it to end the Blood of the Oracle, the blood that could heal the Starscourge legit? I can imagine that being a threat to his plans; his endgame was plunging the world into the seventh hell while ending the Lucian bloodline. Luna’s power may have stood as a roadblock to this, since he seemed to want Noctis to cross the finish line before anyone else. Ardyn is petty enough for this to be true. In any case I dislike that I have to come to own conclusions after this kind of story beat. This isn’t Bioshock. We’re not going high concept here. Please give me some sort of justification for why he guts Cleric Waifu.
We spend some time on a train, but they break it up with an encounter with the Empire. Apparently they’ve been in hot pursuit this whole time. You don’t get the sense of it until the train starts getting shelled by an armor division. The broforce deploys to protect the train and Noctis engages in some aerial ship-busting the likes of which we haven’t seen since the E3 2013 trailer. It’s moments like this, and stuff like the two fort raids from the first half of the game, that give us glimpses of an Empire that might have been fun to clash with if the story was much more focused.
The train stops for a moment in Tenebrae, and for all the word-of-mouth paid to the location our time spent there is insultingly short. Our only apology from the game is that Luna’s Sylleblossoms grow as far as the eye can see. Aranea drops a hint that Ardyn convinced Emperor Iedolas to steal the Crystal to stave off the daemons (by this point they’ve taken nearly half of the Imperial capitol and are really lighting a fire under his ass), and nothing more is said. The Empire’s role in the story is basically over at this point. Oh, and Biggs and Wedge are there.
After the very rushed and unsatisfying revelation that Gentiana is Shiva the Glacian, there is a missed opportunity for her to tell us something very important: Ifrit the Infernian, otherwise known as the Betrayer (according to the scenario volume of XV’s Ultimania books), created the Starscourge to spite the other Astrals. He started the war that created the need for the Crystal and that resulted in the crowning of the first king of Lucis. In this way, he is Ardyn’s Zemus figure. This is extremely important to the larger circumstances of the plot, and paints Ardyn in a very different light. It also gives context to the Ifrit fight, explaining why Ifrit sided with Ardyn and why he’s even there out of the blue. Ifrit’s appearance in absence of details is tantamount to dropping Necron on us at the end of IX. God damn that Ifrit fight, though. Just the right length, just cinematic enough, and he’s such a badass that even Bahamut Gundam can’t stop him. Ifrit’s design is simple. He’s less like a fire beast and more like a divine figure befitting his Arabic origins.
Chapter 13 is the biggest problem with the story when all things are taken into account. When the game gets you there, you’re pumped to start tearing the Empire a structurally-superfluous new sphincter. I expected confrontations with major characters, a few setpiece moments, and Ardyn’s betrayal of the Emperor. I didn’t get one of that. Instead, we spent about three hours playing either Metal Gear Solid With Swords or Resident Evil With Swords. We don’t get any resolution for the conflicts started in Chapter 1 and Kingsglaive. I wanted to see the Imperial Capitol, to know more about the people that now rule the world of Eos. When it becomes clear that the place had long since been overrun by daemons, the game plays with tell-don’t-show and I have to piece toegher the details from Resident Evil-style research notes left on desks. The sacking of Gralea by the daemons of the Starscourge is something that you only have to say to yourself out loud in order to imagine what could have happened on screen. Pair that up with how Ravus was mishandled and it’s easy to see that Chapter 13 is a squandered opportunity. I realize that it was needlessly long, but would any of us have cared if that time had been padded out with spectacle and meaningful scenes? Nah, son. Instead, we learn that Prompto is a prototype MT(?) in a throwaway scene and the broforce doesn’t seem to give a fuck. That’s great! I can empathize with their attitudes!
After three hours of Grandpa Ardyn’s Umbrella Research Facility, Noctis is left in Bahamut’s E-Z-Bake Crystal for a decade. Why a decade? Seems a bit arbitrary. He doesn’t even emerge where the Crystal was kept. The game drops him off just outside of Galdin Quay. We hitch a ride with an older Talcott and are talked at (more tell-not-show) about characters who I would actually have liked to meet after a decade of unseen growth. Where the fuck is Iris? Aranea? Cor? Cindy and her grandfather? Why only lip service? Where are the reunions? All I got was some half-baked, underwhelming reunion with the broforce and it made me that much more frustrated. There is no rising action here. No build-up. No tense rope to cut. It’s the end of the goddamn world and I don’t care about the final confrontation anymore because the game is not selling it. What are the stakes? Oh, the world has fallen under the Starscourge? Press that angle, sell me something I can get behind. A road trip with Talcott through daemon-infested roads is not going to entice anyone. Why are we based at the Hammerhead? Listallum is the last bastion of humanity and it’s where all our friends are at. Why aren’t we out there? Why didn’t we get to walk the streets amidst the survivors of the Starscourge? Noctis picks up on stray bits of NPC dialog all the time. It would have done wonders for my appreciation of how completely fucked the continent was.
Bahamut also never tells us explicitly what actions we have to perform in order to fulfill the prophecy, just that Noctis has to channel the power of the Crystal through the Ring of the Lucii and that this will require his death. We do not know if Noctis perceived the timeskip or if time was fluid and undefined within the Crystal. Because of this, it makes his unflustered reaction to the world very confusing and a little inappropriate. It also makes the final cutscenes just as confusing, but we’re not there yet. Furthermore, did Regis and Luna know about this? Some people are concluding that Regis was not grooming Noctis to become a king because he knew his son would have to die instead. Where’s the evidence for that? In the non-canon Omen trailer, Regis speaks to Bahamut and the subtext is pretty dark, but after finishing the game it was very clear that Omen had nothing to do with the real story (remember Halo 5: Guardians?) and it’s safe to toss it out. So, once again, do Regis and Luna know? I don’t think so. Luna knew that she had to sacrifice herself in some capacity to help Noctis become the Chosen King, the one to banish the Darkness. It’s not like she had a chance to shoot the shit with Bahamut. Any time Regis has a speaking scene during the story, he’s busy managing a war. Regis knows that he himself may die that day, and that’s the only subtext we get. We have too little information, and once again must decide for ourselves.
So, yeah, I’ve concluded that Luna and Regis had no idea that Noctis himself would serve as the fuel for the final blow and the ending is still complete bullshit. We’re not there yet, but we’re working on it.
The broforce rolls out to Insomnia to close out Chapter 14. How did they even get there? The Regalia is trashed. I figure, ‘maybe Cindy rebuilt it, or built a new Regalia for the broforce when the band got back together for the reunion tour’, but we don’t know that. The broforce chats about how good it feels to fight together for the first time in a decade. Does that mean that the miles-long bridge to Insomnia and the two miles of road leading to said bridge were relatively daemon-free? Fuck it. That son of a bitch Ardyn is waiting for us in the throne room. For some reason he’s strung up effigies Regis, Luna, Nyx and Emperor Iedolas. No idea why. We know Ardyn is able to conjure illusions, and he loves to fuck with Noctis in this capacity, but he doesn’t use these effigies in any meaningful way. Are they trophies? We don’t know how big the Citadel is, so why didn’t Chapter 14’s midsection serve as Ardyn’s Haunted Playhouse, where he uses the illusions of these prominent characters to try to undermine Noctis’s resolve?
Why is Noctis so laid back during all of Chapter 14?
The Ardyn fight is equally bad. Staged on a random patch of road that, you don’t know that this is the final boss until Ardyn pops his own Armiger. The fight is Noctis versus Noctis from a purely mechanical perspective. This fight ends in the iconic courtyard of the Citadel, a location seen often in pre-release media. The Lucii are there, to gaze upon the last exchange of blows. Can someone tell me why a single strike from every Royal Arm in numerical order is what finishes off Ardyn’s physical body? Did Bahamut say that? Nobody said that. Noctis broke him to pieces after Shiva turned him into a chumpsicle and he laughed it off. It’s just as arbitrary as the timeskip. You know what else is arbitrary? Literally every scene after this. Why does Noctis ascend the throne to finish the job? Why isn’t the throne just a metaphor for duty and responsibility? He has the Ring of the Lucii. He’s gone Super Saiyan Blue again. Why does he have to finish off Ardyn’s body and then kill himself to drop Knights of the Round on Ardyn’s soul? Why is the broforce there? Why is Luna there? Who is dead? Who is alive? This scene is awful. It’s style over substance, and the wrong way to do show-don’t-tell. You know what would have been better? In the presence of the Lucii, with all the principal cast assembled in the courtyard to finish off Ardyn, have Noctis just use Knights of the Round right there and let it burn his soul as fuel just the same as it did for Nyx when he summoned the Old Wall. Let Noctis give one last farewell to his brothers in arms as the sun rises for the first time in ten years and he goes out just like Nyx did. The sun rising on Nyx was a visual metaphor, and when the sun rises once more at the end of this story it’s basically screaming for an opportunity to reuse that imagery.
Jesus Christ, I hated this ending. The only payoff is Noctis and Luna together in the hereafter, becoming a new version of the game’s logo. Neat stylistic touch, but it’s no refund’ for everything that led up to it. Much like VII, we have no idea what happens to this world or its institutions after the game ends. This is a shame. Eos is a great setting. I like the texture of that world. I like that it feels both fantastical and lived-in at the same time. Who rules Insomnia now? Everyone involved in the government either died in Kingsglaive or died over the course of the game’s story. What comes next? Why are you throttling another man’s genitals, Nojima? You have work to do. Clock back in and write a proper ending.
Presentation
Much has been said about this game’s graphics. They’re awful. I’m led to believe that the crowning achievement of 8th generation graphics is a solid grasp on lighting and materials, because XV is such a well-lit game with such fantastic particle and light effects that I feel game developers have got this shit nailed down. I will forgive the graphical flaws for a few reasons. The engine is rendering huge swaths of land all at once, and the unified lighting is interacting with the world at all times. The active volcano I got Cup Noodle ingredients out of, and the meteor that Titan has held for eons look absolutely amazing both up-close and from a distance, and it’s because of how the sun and moon interact with them. The forests at night are dark and foreboding. You absolutely need that flashlight you’ve got strapped to your chest, because it’s all you’re going to get. Anywhere there’s a highway lamp posted, the fluorescent light looks great on everything.
Cutscenes seem to get more rendering muscle tossed at them. If the entire game looked like the important cutscenes did, we’d have one of the most gorgeous games of the current generation. The little details are nice even when things get low-res (the shoulders on Luna’s default dress, the way the fabric is cut and interlaced, is really impressive), but the bulk of the game’s content is graphically unimpressive when held under scrutiny.
I can forgive this. You know why? Yoko Shimomura’s soundtrack hits it out of the park. This is one of the best soundtracks in the entire franchise. The only stylistic cue she brings along with her from prior works is her powerful piano melodies (you can feel how hard she’s hitting those keys). This is not Kingdom Hearts, this is not Parasite Eve, or Front Mission, or anything else. Final Fantasy XV has a unique soundscape that made me question whether or not Shimomura was chiefly responsible for it. A cursory glance of the composer credits on all my favorite tracks indicates to me that this is the single greatest soundtrack she’s ever composed, and I don’t think Kingdom Hearts III will come anywhere close to it. Somnus. Omnis Lacrima. Apocalypsis Noctis. Nox Aeterna and Nox Divina. Stand Your Ground, Up for the Challenge, Invidia, Magna Insomnia, Luna. The hits keep coming. You don’t just get one iconic piece, you get several.
I already gushed about how ridiculous the cutscene for Luna’s death was. I’ll give it one more shout-out as a technical achievement. Kingsglaive gets due credit for realism and characters that aren’t in the uncanny valley, but so much is going on when Luna passes the Ring of the Lucii that it’s more impressive in comparison. The entire scene breaks down into particles. Every single object. Then everything basically transpires as if it were underwater. There’s skill on display here.
Conclusions
Some people are going to say ‘Final Fantasy is back’. I think that Final Fantasy is back on the right track towards being a pillar of Japanese gaming once again. XV is a gesture, it’s a reaching out to new ideas and to the jaded fans in proclamation that the series wants to move on and that it wants to get better. I think that Final Fantasy can evolve in this way, that it can evolve in all the right ways. It washes the taste of XIII right out of my mouth and has me firmly believing that all the ingredients for the next great Final Fantasy are in Square’s kitchen. It’s going to be a while before we can jump back on this boat. Kingdom Hearts III is the next major project from Square-Enix’s own family of talent. Dragon Quest XI isn’t something to worry about, it’s a completely different set of artists and developers from Enix’s camp, so it’s competing for funds at best. Considering the cost of Triple-A development these days, we may not see a Final Fantasy XVI for a long time, and I’m okay with that. The lessons we can all take away from XV are all for the better.
submitted by Edgewood to FFXV [link] [comments]


2017.02.12 17:46 therealwoden [IP] Soulbound Hunters

Original Thread
Soulbound Hunters by cobaltplasma
We greet you, puplings. The thought came down from the mountaintops like an arrow.
Fyn wore only leather wrappings on his feet and a loincloth. He stood among hundreds of other boys who were almost, but not quite, men. Each of them looked up and up and up, all the way to the top of the ridge of mountains, seeking glimpses of the hulking shapes that waited for them.
There was no ceremony, no signal, no cheering crowd. That had come days earlier and miles away. Here, there was only the rock and the cold and the waiting shapes. One by one and then in a rush, the boys attacked the cliff face, seeking hand- and footholds to lift themselves above the stony plain that carpeted the edge of the world.
Fyn looked up at first, trying to aim for a part of the peak he thought might be one of the dareleth. But the climb was treacherous and soon all he had mind for was his burning arms and the endless rock face. He sought the next hold, then the next. His fingers bled on the cold blades of rock and he wiped them on his loincloth time after time, leaving streaks like claw-marks but giving him a few moments of solid purchase on the rock.
Once in a while, he looked around him. Each time he saw fewer climbers than the last. He did not look down, so he had no way of knowing whether they had given up and climbed back down to their old lives, or allowed fear to freeze them in place, or fallen to their deaths.
Fyn pulled himself up and out of a layer of fog. He looked up to plan his next attack, and in the distance above him were uncountable blue pinpricks like foxfire stars. His heart raced. The dareleth were watching him. Called to perform for his destiny, Fyn found himself in the grip of something like stage fright. He clung to the face of the cliff with his hands wedged into a crack in the rock, stiffening as they absorbed the cold.
On high, the dareleth watched, the foxfire glow of their eyes unblinking and as cold as the rock, as uncaring as destiny. Fyn shivered. The dareleth were ancient. They had waited atop these mountains for thousands of years before men had first looked up to the sky. Could they understand fear? Did they ever feel what Fyn felt now, like time was flooding over them and they would drown unless they stood still and clung? Fyn's cheeks burned. He had wanted to impress the dareleth with his bravery, but instead he had marked himself as a coward.
Yards away, another boy emerged from the fog. He flung an arm out for a handhold and pulled himself up, working steadily, now higher than Fyn, now disappearing out of sight around an outcropping. Fyn gritted his teeth. That boy had no fear of the destiny that awaited. He knew that forward was the only direction one could go. Fyn lifted an arm, driven by shame and injured pride and the simple, sure knowledge that the hungry earth waited patiently below.
The other boy did not appear again, but Fyn did not need a second reminder. He reached, and pulled, and wedged, and reached. Time did not exist. There was only the rock, the cold, and the pain of his body.
Finally, years or hours later, Fyn looked up to find the next handhold and found instead that there was no more up. For a vertiginous instant, he felt that he was laying flat on the ground and the summit was the true cliff, that if he were to pull himself that last tiny distance he would tip over the side and fall forever. He blinked, shook his head. The world reordered. Fyn lifted a hand stained with dried blood and hooked it over the rim of the world. He pulled himself up into his destiny.
He lay on the sharp rocks, panting, every muscle screaming protest now that the work was done. Through vision fogged by tears, he saw the other boy standing tall and proud before the vast bulk of one of the dareleth. The blue lamps of its eyes blinked. Its horny jaw worked. The boy knelt before it, his back straight, his face exalted.
Fyn put an arm over his eyes to block himself from seeing more. He wanted to laugh or cry. His destiny was to watch someone better earn what Fyn wanted? It was cruel, but fitting. His cowardice on the cliff face deserved no more. Perhaps he could assist the other boy. The stories did not tell of any hunters with squires, but perhaps Fyn could ease the hunter's load. Perhaps die in his place that the hunter might live.
Raise your head, pupling.
The thought insinuated itself into Fyn's brain like one of his own. But his thoughts had never felt so ancient. It was the voice of a dareleth. He uncovered his eyes. One of the massive creatures stood above him, as still and patient as a part of the mountain.
"Darethi, I am honored, but I am not worthy of the honor."
Oh?
Fyn forced his muscles to pull him to a sitting position. "I am a coward, darethi. I gave in to fear during the climb. I am not fit to be here."
The creature's mouth opened, tusks twice as tall as a man tracing trails through the wisps of fog that crept across the summit. Its rhythmic grunts resounded in Fyn's chest and echoed in his head. Slowly, he realized it was laughing.
How like a pupling, it thought to him, to think that fear is an unmaking. The lack of fear is not courage. Courage is knowing fear and still climbing.
Dimly, Fyn felt his destiny opening to him again. "Then... do I have a place here? I was not the first, but I thought perhaps I could assist the hunter in some way."
The dareleth laughed again. I tasted that thought in you, but I felt that you would see the truth. Pupling, you will be the hunter.
Fyn's eyes felt so big they might have belonged to a dareleth. "Me? But he reached the summit before I did."
As though speed is the thing that matters, the creature thought to him, gently reproving. That pupling feels no fear. He will do great things, but he is dangerous. We will lend him our aid, but he is not a hunter. You have courage. You are a hunter.
"Me? I--" Fyn hesitated, then sighed, the breath standing in for all the words he was too tongue-tied to say.
And I am your bond. My name is Kaapar.
Fyn looked up at the creature with new eyes. They would be partners. Lifemates. Bound together in mind and soul. Fyn would gain the powers and mental strength of a dareleth, and in return the dareleth would gain the mental speed, vigor, and flexibility of a human. Irrevocable, the partnership would last until death. They would work together forever to guard the world by hunting down those who would do harm. "I am honored to meet you, hoviko Kaapar," he said formally. "My name is Fyn."
The honor is mine, hunter Fyn.
submitted by therealwoden to WodensWritings [link] [comments]


2017.02.02 00:28 swiaq Shelter Dimension preference

Well, there are a lot of threads going on right now about what the best 2 person tent is, or help me choose a tent/ should I be a tarp person. So what are your preferred dimensions for solo/partnelifemate Solo 30" and about 82" for length Partner 60 " x 84" preferable to sleep in a tent that doesn't taper near the foot end. Lifemate 55" x 84
I am 6' 165lbs shoulders are pretty wide but I still wear a medium in most things unless it has short sleeves.
submitted by swiaq to Ultralight [link] [comments]


2017.01.05 01:08 Edgewood [SPOILERS] A Post-Mortem of XV from a Returning Fan

So many spoilers. Tons of them. Steer clear if you're not finished with this game.
This thread has been edited to make it flow a little better. I originally churned it out as a mass of raw thoughts, and I felt unsatisfied with what I'd produced. If this is your first time reading this post, don't sweat it.
Final Fantasy XV is the second Final Fantasy I have ever played to completion, and the first Final Fantasy I’ve played around date of release since IX. It's been a long time. The road for the franchise has been bumpy. Other games have competed for my attention since 2001. XIII was flaming hot garbage. The 7th generation of consoles were where Square-Enix went through a strange adolescence. I'm not a Dragon Quest fan, but I know that Dragon Quest is the company’s third pillar. Maybe that franchise sailed through the generation relatively unscathed. Maybe it didn't. I'm lacking in perspective, but I’m not here to talk about Dragon Quest.
I want to talk about XV. This game presents itself as both a gesture of faith and good will from Square-Enix, and an example of how JRPGs are trying to evolve to catch up with their Western contemporaries. It's been a few days since I finished Final Fantasy XV. After completing Chapter 14, I took a few days for my thoughts to marinate in the fridge. Now I'm going to fridge logic this game as a returning fan of the franchise. We’re going to do this in sections. It helps keep the rant focused.
Let's get to it.
The Gameplay
XV is no grand example of how to build an open world game or how to build a combat system. That’s okay; every Final Fantasy game since VI is basically a designer-drug-fueled experiment, and XV gets an A for effort. The open world sections that play out across Leide, Duscae, Cleigne, Accordo, and the settlements and attractions contained within, are varied and engaging. Find something to do, this world is full of all sorts of crazy shit. Never a dull moment. When your virtual rubber meets the road, the scenery is an enticing fusion of mundane countrysides and Final Fantasy sensibilities. It's like getting lost somewhere in southern Colorado, but the local wildlife is suffering from gigantism and there's a meteor hanging out in the middle of the plains just for funsies. You can hoof it, you can drive through it where the roads permit, or you can ride a mobile KFC. It all works, and you can see everything and anything you want to. It helps that Luminous Engine’s draw distance is so huge that each new horizon is dotted with new the silhouettes of new distractions. The dungeons are fantastic, and are just long enough to satisfy. All of them run on their own gimmick so the exploration never feels tired. The optional dungeons are not throwaway endeavors, and are the product of real design effort. Fetch quests are abundant and just as contrived as they’ve always been in video games, but then there’s shit like Cindy’s final quest. Chick sends you to the sewers at the edge of Insomnia, and then you get your shit pushed in by a medusoid naga (I don’t know what else to call it) and a Chinese dragon. You walk out of the joint with a baller-ass pair of headlights for your ride that give you a meaningful gameplay advantage. Who knew daemons were little bitches when you cruise with xenon high beams?
What can I say about the combat that hasn't already been said? What’s on display is a step in the right direction for this franchise, an incremental evolution of XII's ideas, but it’sl a baby step. It doesn't stand head-to-head with many games that saw the light of day during the 7th generation. The Tales series spent that generation reiterating upon its own action combat system and came out of the ordeal with something much deeper. While action combat has been done before, it’s never been done exactly like XV. Warp strikes are nice. I appreciate a means to close the distance when my ranged options are on a cooldown timer (god almighty, don’t use firearms if you can help it). It helps the player control the pace of the fight. When paired with Wait Mode, it puts a level of control in your hands that feels a bit like a turn-based ATB system, but you can kick the training wheels off whenever you damn well please.
I like the Techniques. Your bros can only learn so many, and none of them are objectively better than the others. They're a tool kit. They provide options to tweak your play experience, and it’s all situational. Drop some Elemancy on top of a Gravisphere and you’ve got a great new recipe for poor dead bastards au flambé. That's just one way you can play with it. Dawnhammer breaks shit, Ignis's Regroup is as invaluable as Overwhelm, pick something interesting and get down with your bad self. I dig it. I'd like to see this concept evolve if Square-Enix keeps the bones around for the next numbered entry.
Gear is managed in a weird way. It's very non-traditional. Stat gains are marginall, so I stopped focusing on equipment beyond weapons. There are plenty of normal weapons with higher attack values than the Royal Arms, but I found myself using the Royal Arms all the time. They're very Souls-like, in that they have unique movesets when compared to other weapons. The Blades of the Traveler are fantastic. The Sword of the Father has that wonderful iaido slash. If you don’t like the drawbacks of using the Arms, you don’t have to. The game is built in such a way that, through skillful play, you can mitigate whatever disadvantage you're at in the gear department even if your weapons didn’t erupt from the womb of an earthgod.
I have no strong feelings about the rest of the gameplay mechanics, other than the Break and Vulnerable states. I don't understand them, and the game doesn't explain their benefits. I’m not even sure how to make them happen in most cases. Some enemies break in predictable ways (why else can I lock onto their horns?), but some sort of visual cue is the exception instead of the rule. It's not like Xenosaga, where a Break mechanic creates opportunities. I think that’s what Vulnerable does. It doesn’t really matter, I never felt like I was at a loss over this stuff.
Story & Characters
Noctis
I like this kid. He's not a brooder, but he's not without a sense of ennui. He mopes when it's appropriate. The way he treats the people he accepts jobs from (which stems from player choice, I went Paragon as fuck) reflects a guy who's surprisingly kind. At times, he’s a bit rough around the edges, but we’ve all met this sort of guy before. He has tender moments with Luna's notebook, he shoots the shit with his bros, he isn't afraid of a fight, and is firmly committed to completing his mission. Even when Bahamut drops a Mysterious Hidden Sacred Destiny Knowledge Bomb™ on the poor guy, he chills in Crystalspace for a little bit and emerges with the resolve to succeed his father and walk into the white light. I appreciate his character arc, and that his ride on the angst train was exceptionally brief when compared to other series protagonists. It came from a place of mourning, It’s totally acceptable, then he manned up and moved the fuck on. He is as solid a protagonist as this game could have hoped for.
The Broforce
Holy fuck, these guys. Prompto is annoying, Ignis is a bit of a glyph, and Gladio is the ultimate dudebro. I like them all. They are presented as distinct individuals and have consistent characterizations. Listening to Prompto bitch in the dungeons and engage in banter with Gladio and Noctis can be grating, but that's the kind of person Prompto is. He's the comedy relief. We all know someone like him, and we know it always comes from a place of well-meaning.
Ignis, the Team Mom, spends most of the game in the kitchen until he channels some Gordon Ramsay after the Marlboro fight and tells the kids to stop menstruating. I cannot tell you how happy it made me when this game had the courage to frame a scene where the broforce has an adult conversation about their misgivings. It didn’t even turn into melodrama. Ignis the fucking Bullet-Dodger.
Gladio is best dudebro. He’s like Ignis, he’s got no backstory. I don’t give a fuck. I want to go drinking with that iron-slab-wielding Muscle Gundam. As soon as he stopped me in Listallum to talk about Cup Noodle and dragged my ass up into an active volcano so we could have scrambled eggs in our ramen, I knew he was my video game hetero lifemate. There's something about his get-it-done attitude and earnest enthusiasm for the fight that make him extremely likeable.
Lunafreya
This poor woman. Working with an undercooked characterization, this love interest had all the DNA to craft an engaging female laid. Unfortunately, she fails to be interesting until after she's died, and we’re left with flashbacks to actually flesh her out. Too much time is spent with Luna the Oracle and not Luna the Human Being. The game is selling her hard as a determined woman, someone who’s fearless and who can function without her man. She has no fear before ancient gods, let alone the Empire. Before she kicks the bucket, she’s cradling Noct’s unconscious form to protect him from the Hydraean while she bleeds out and she doesn’t even know that Titan’s about to break out of his Pokéball. I really want to like Cleric Waifu. I wanted to like her as much as I liked Garnet and Ashe. I wanted her to join Noctis as a traveling companion, but she was just a maguffin. When she died, it was one of the most artistically beautiful cutscenes that's ever been done in the franchise and it looked like it took a ton of artistic and technical ability to pull it off. It sold me on Noctis's emotional outcomes, but not on the weight of Luna's death. I feel as if the staff genuinely did not respect the character.
The Empire
These guys are almost a non-entity outside of Kingsglaive. Nothing is done to make them seem like a proper threat. Here I was expecting a spiritual cousin to the Valuan Empire of Skies of Arcadia, an enemy army with a finger in every pie and a guard posted at every intersection. It never happened. Instead, we get one cutscene in the throne room, a boss fight with a mauve shirt character piloting Char's Zaku, and some time with female!Cid Highwind. Arena gets a pass for having character. The Emperor, Iedolas Aldercapt, exists in a vacuum since Ardyn does all the heavy lifting. Verstael, the manager of the Magitek labs who appeared in the E3 2013 trailer and was present for the throne room cutscene, never shows up again. Chapters 9 and 13 were opportunities for us watch the gears turn in the great Imperial war machine, but it never happens. We are at least provided with some really satisfying mob fights (but seriously, fuck Magitek Assassins). Their bipedal weapons are pretty neat. The end of Chapter 1, the breaching of the blockade with that stellar arrangement of Veiled in Black, felt like a prelude to my future efforts to derail and destroy this Empire. Never happened. Never got to kill Galcian and sink the Hydra into Deep Sky (forgive me my Arcadia references). It made all that menace and presentation in Kingsglaive feel like a right proper cocktease. Why can’t I fight a Diamond Weapon? I haven’t fought a Diamond Weapon since 1997. I want to fight a fucking Diamond Weapon.
Supporting Cast
Cindy, who is comprised of 50% Cid (she’s named ‘Cidney’ in Japan, the only indication we get that she’s supposed to share the role with her grandfather), rocks the country girl attitude but seems as earnest a person as Gladio. I neither liked nor disliked her, because we don’t spend enough time with her. Gladio’s kid sister Iris Amicitia is just a normal teenaged girl, and she’s surprisingly well-rounded and down-to-earth. As a party member, she’s pretty OP. The fact that she eventually partners up with motherfucking Cor Leonis after the timeskip as one half of a Basically Final Fantasy Devil May Cry is testament to how badass that family has to be. Also, Cor. Why isn’t he a fifth playable character? So much of the pre-release media seemed to position him as your fifth Beatle that it felt very disappointing when he left me to go stab things with whatever’s left of the Crownsguard.
Talcott’s mission to collect trading figures was adorable. It’s something I already do in my own way, so it was really endearing. When you get child characters who are neither whiny nor saccharine, they help to lighten the mood. Every time. A pity that the game uses him as a talkbox when it comes time to tell Noctis what happened while he overslept on Bahamut’s couch.
Gentiana really should have been more important than she actually was. She is a walking opportunity to talk about critical plot details (I’ll talk about that later). Her revelation as Shiva was without fanfare, so poorly executed that I’m not sure how Hajime Tabata thought it was cool to set the scene in a passenger car on some train in the middle of nowhere. This game’s inconsistent ability to set a scene is one of the major flaws of Chapters 10 through 14, and Gentiana suffers for it.
Let’s talk about Ravus! We meet him in Kingsglaive as this resentful dick who’s been drinking Imperial Kool-Aid as a means to an end. Then he gets too big for his breeches and the Lucii burn his arm off. He later embarasses Gladio as a potential setup for some sort of fight, but that fight never happens. After this, and because the story desperately needs him to, he changes his mind about the Lucian bloodline off-screen. The juicy deets are learned from handwritten letters strewn about his corpse in the depths of the Magitek labs in just one of many stunning examples of XV’s trouble relationship with show-don’t-tell. You eventually fight him, but he’s half daemon at that point and is simply there so Chapter 13 can put on its big boy pants and throw an actual boss fight at your party.
Ardyn
This. Mother. Fucker. He drips with character. He’s immediately intriguing, and his motivations are easier to understand than those of past villains. I disagree with some assertions that his characterization doesn’t pan out. In one paragraph of dialog in the Crystal’s chamber, you get everything you need. Some of his actions are a little confusing (why did Prompto of all people need to be separated from the group?), but he plays his part well enough. He tried to do the right thing, got exiled by his family, and was cockblocked by the Astrals for being an unwitting pawn in a grand scheme. It’s a Golbez-Zemus situation, to be sure, but he’s unaware of who his Zemus is and operates in ignorance of his own circumstances. You get the feeling by the end of it that he might be just as satisfied with dying as he would be with total victory.
Story
The story of Final Fantasy XV is like a guy who can count cards at a poker table and has every advantage he needs to walk away with a solid gold Lamborghini, but he chokes anyway. I’m not happy with Kazushige Nojima. Let’s talk about why.
The opening Chapter of XV has the broforce placed far away from the events of Kingsglaive. While I’m pushing a car up the road and avoiding the all-too-common trope of being there when the kingdom falls and escaping with my life by a hair’s breadth, my dad just got killed by that fuckstick Glauca and half my hood just got wrecked. I don’t find this out until much later, and it’s a surprisingly novel way to spin a yarn. What happens after all of this becomes very disjointed. There is lip service paid to taking revenge on the Empire, but nobody discusses a plan. I am told to retrieve the Royal Arms, and I am beckoned by the Astrals to overcome their challenges and take them with me to the Elite Four, but I don’t know why any of this is necessary. The closest thing to a plan I ever got came hours later when I crashed at Bahamut’s place.
It’s not all bad. There’s still a sense that Noctis is gathering the tools necessary to challenge the Empire. I had to come to this conclusion on my own, because it serves as a convenient excuse to explore the expansive and inviting world that exists all around the player. Listallum was totes worth.
When the game gets to Chapter 9 and the broforce arrives to fight Leviathan in a desperate bid to subdue Oceansnek and rescue Cleric Waifu, it all starts to go off the rails. This is an odd coincidence, since the broforce literally buys train tickets after all of this transpires and they all get railroaded into Chapter 13 as quickly as the iron horse can carry them.
The fight with Leviathan includes an underwhelming Imperial presence and an unnecessary series of QTEs, followed by the single best example of the scale of the game that isn’t the open world. Warp-striking upwards of a mile and a half puts things into perspective, because Oceansnek really does need that much space to function, but it’s all for naught when Noctis goes Super Saiyan Blue.
Why the fuck does Ardyn kill Luna? I have to juxtapose my own answer, that’s how little we get to work with from that scene.. Was it to end the Blood of the Oracle, the blood that could heal the Starscourge legit? I can imagine that being a threat to his plans; his endgame was plunging the world into the depths of the hell while destroying the Lucian bloodline. Luna’s power may have stood as a roadblock to this, since he seemed to want Noctis to cross the finish line before anyone else. Ardyn is petty enough for this to be true. In any case I dislike that I have to come to own conclusions after this kind of story beat. This isn’t Bioshock. We’re not going high concept here. Please give me some sort of justification for why he guts Cleric Waifu.
We spend some time on a train, but they break it up with an encounter with the Empire. Apparently they’ve been in hot pursuit this whole time. You don’t get the sense of it until the train starts getting shelled by an armor division. The broforce deploys to protect the train and Noctis engages in some aerial ship-busting the likes of which we haven’t seen since the E3 2013 trailer. It’s moments like this, and stuff like the two fort raids from the first half of the game, that give us glimpses of an Empire that might have been fun to clash with if the story was much more focused.
The train stops for a moment in Tenebrae, and for all the word-of-mouth paid to the location our time spent there is insultingly short. Our only apology from the game is that Luna’s Sylleblossoms grow as far as the eye can see. Aranea drops a hint that Ardyn convinced Emperor Iedolas to steal the Crystal to stave off the daemons (by this point they’ve taken nearly half of the Imperial capitol and are really lighting a fire under his ass), and nothing more is said. The Empire’s role in the story is basically over at this point. At least the new Biggs and Wedge are badasses.
After the very rushed and unsatisfying revelation that Gentiana is Shiva the Glacian, there is a missed opportunity for her to tell us something very important: Ifrit the Infernian, otherwise known as the Betrayer (according to the scenario version of XV’s Ultimania book), created the Starscourge to spite the other Astrals. He started the war that created the need for the Crystal and that resulted in the crowning of the first king of Lucis. In this way, he is Ardyn’s Zemus figure. This is extremely important to the larger circumstances of the plot, and paints Ardyn in a very different light. It also gives context to the Ifrit fight, explaining why Ifrit sided with Ardyn and why he’s even there out of the blue. Ifrit’s appearance in absence of details is tantamount to dropping Necron on us at the end of IX. God damn that Ifrit fight, though. Just the right length, just cinematic enough, and he’s such a badass that even Bahamut Gundam can’t stop him. Ifrit’s design is simple. He’s less like a fire beast and more like a divine figure befitting his Arabic origins.
Chapter 13 is the biggest problem with the story when all things are taken into account. When the game gets you there, you’re pumped to start tearing the Empire a structurally-superfluous new sphincter. I expected confrontations with major characters, a few setpiece moments, and Ardyn’s betrayal of the Emperor. I didn’t get one of that. Instead, we spent about three hours playing either Metal Gear Solid With Sword or Resident Evil With Swords. We don’t get any resolution for the conflicts started in Chapter 1 and Kingsglaive. I wanted to see the Imperial Capitol, to know more about the people that now rule the world of Eos as we know it. When it becomes clear that the place had long since been overrun by daemons, the game plays with tell-don’t-show and I have to piece toegher the details from Resident Evil-style research notes left on desks. The sacking of Gralea by the daemons of the Starscourge is something that you only have to say to yourself out loud in order to imagine what could have happened on screen. Pair that up with how Ravus was mishandled and it’s easy to see that Chapter 13 is a squandered opportunity. I realize that it was needlessly long, but would any of us have cared if that time had been padded out with spectacle and meaningful scenes? Nah, son. Instead, we learn that Prompto is a prototype MT(?) in a throwaway scene and the broforce doesn’t seem to give a fuck. That’s great! I can empathize with their attitudes!
After three hours of Grandpa Ardyn’s Umbrella Research Facility, Noctis is left in Bahamut’s E-Z-Bake Crystal for a decade. Why a decade? Seems a bit arbitrary. He doesn’t even emerge where the Crystal was kept. The game drops him off just outside of Galdin Quay. We hitch a ride with an older Talcott and are talked at (more tell-not-show) about characters who I would actually have liked to meet after a decade of unseen growth. Where the fuck is Iris? Aranea? Cor? Cindy and her grandfather? Why only lip service? Where are the reunions? All I got was some half-baked, underwhelming reunion with the broforce and it made me that much more frustrated. There is no rising action here. No build-up. No tense rope to cut. It’s the end of the goddamn world and I don’t care about the final confrontation anymore because the game is not selling it. What are the stakes? Oh, the world has fallen under the Starscourge? Press that angle, sell me something I can get behind. A road trip with Talcott through daemon-infested roads is not going to entice anyone. Why are we based at the Hammerhead? Listallum is the last bastion of humanity and it’s where all our friends are at. Why aren’t we out there? Why didn’t we get to walk the streets amidst the survivors of the Starscourge? Noctis picks up on stray bits of NPC dialog all the time. It would have done wonders for my appreciation of how completely fucked the continent was.
Bahamut also never tells us explicitly what actions we have to perform in order to fulfill the prophecy, just that Noctis has to channel the power of the Crystal through the Ring of the Lucii and that this will require his death. We do not know if Noctis perceived the timeskip or if time was fluid and undefined within the Crystal. Because of this, it makes his unflustered reaction to the world very confusing and a little inappropriate. It also makes the final cutscenes just as confusing, but we’re not there yet. Furthermore, did Regis and Luna know about this? Some people are concluding that Regis was not grooming Noctis to become a king because he knew his son would have to die instead. Where’s the evidence for that? In the non-canon Omen trailer, Regis speaks to Bahamut and the subtext is pretty dark, but after finishing the game it was very clear that Omen had nothing to do with the real story (remember Halo 5: Guardians?) and it’s safe to toss it out. So, once again, do Regis and Luna know? I don’t think so. Luna knew that she had to sacrifice herself in some capacity to help Noctis become the Chosen King, the one to banish the Darkness. It’s not like she had a chance to shoot the shit with Bahamut. Any time Regis has a speaking scene during the story, he’s busy managing a war. Regis knows that he himself may die that day, and that’s the only subtext we get. We have too little information, and once again must decide for ourselves.
So, yeah, I’ve concluded that Luna and Regis had no idea that Noctis himself would serve as the fuel for the final blow and the ending is still complete bullshit. We’re not there yet, but we’re working on it.
The broforce rolls out to Insomnia to close out Chapter 14. How did they even get there? The Regalia is trashed. I figure, ‘maybe Cindy rebuilt it, or built a new Regalia for the broforce when the band got back together for the reunion tour’, but we don’t know that. The broforce chats about how good it feels to fight together for the first time in a decade. Does that mean that the miles-long bridge to Insomnia and the two miles of road leading to said bridge were relatively daemon-free? Fuck it. That son of a bitch Ardyn is waiting for us in the throne room. For some reason he’s strung up effigies Regis, Luna, Nyx and Emperor Iedolas. No idea why. We know Ardyn is able to conjure illusions, and he loves to fuck with Noctis in this capacity, but he doesn’t use these effigies in any meaningful way. Are they trophies? We don’t know how big the Citadel is, so why didn’t Chapter 14’s midsection serve as Ardyn’s Haunted Playhouse, where he uses the illusions of these prominent characters to try to undermine Noctis’s resolve?
Why is Noctis so laid back during all of Chapter 14?
The Ardyn fight is equally bad. Staged on a random patch of road that, you don’t know that this is the final boss until Ardyn pops his own Armiger. The fight is Noctis versus Noctis, if we’re talking pure mechanics. This fight ends in the iconic courtyard of the Citadel, a location seen often in pre-release media and that is somewhat iconic. The Lucii are there, to gaze upon the last exchange of blows. Can someone tell me why a single strike from every Royal Arm in numerical order is what finishes off Ardyn’s physical body? Did Bahamut say that? Nobody said that. Noctis broke him to pieces after Shiva turned him into a chumpsicle and he laughed it off. It’s just as arbitrary as the timeskip. You know what else is arbitrary? Literally every scene after this. Why does Noctis ascend the throne to finish the job? Why isn’t the throne just a metaphor for duty and responsibility? He has the Ring of the Lucii. He’s gone Super Saiyan Blue again. Why does he have to finish off Ardyn’s body and then kill himself to drop Knights of the Round on Ardyn’s soul? Why is the broforce there? Why is Luna there? Who is dead? Who is alive? This scene is awful. It’s style over substance, and the wrong way to do show-don’t-tell. You know what would have been better? In the presence of the Lucii, with all the principal cast assembled in the courtyard to finish off Ardyn, have Noctis just use Knights of the Round right there and let it burn his soul as fuel just the same as it did for Nyx when he summoned the Old Wall. Let Noctis give one last farewell to his brothers in arms as the sun rises for the first time in ten years and he goes out just like Nyx did. The sun rising on Nyx was a visual metaphor, and when the sun rises once more at the end of this story it’s basically screaming for an opportunity to reuse that imagery.
Jesus Christ, I hated this ending. The only payoff is Noctis and Luna together in the hereafter, becoming a new version of the game’s logo. Neat stylistic touch, but it’s no refund’ for everything that led up to it. Much like VII, we have no idea what happens to this world or its institutions after the game ends. This is a shame. Eos is a great setting. I like the texture of that world. I like that it feels both fantastical and lived-in at the same time. Who rules Insomnia now? Everyone involved in the government either died in Kingsglaive or died over the course of the game’s story. What comes next? Why are you throttling another man’s genitals, Nojima? You have work to do. Clock back in and write a proper ending.
Presentation
Much has been said about this game’s graphics. They’re awful. I’m led to believe that the crowning achievement of 8th generation graphics is a solid grasp on lighting and materials, because XV is such a well-lit game with such fantastic particle and light effects that I feel game developers have got this shit nailed down. I will forgive the graphical flaws for a few reasons. The engine is rendering huge swaths of land all at once, and the unified lighting is interacting with the world at all times. The active volcano I got Cup Noodle ingredients out of, and the meteor that Titan has held for eons look absolutely amazing both up-close and from a distance, and it’s because of how the sun and moon interact with them. The forests at night are dark and foreboding. You absolutely need that flashlight you’ve got strapped to your chest, because it’s all you’re going to get. Anywhere there’s a highway lamp posted, the fluorescent light looks great on everything.
Cutscenes seem to get more rendering muscle tossed at them. If the entire game looked like the important cutscenes did, we’d have one of the most gorgeous games of the current generation. The little details are nice even when things get low-res (the shoulders on Luna’s default dress, the way the fabric is cut and interlaced, is really impressive), but the bulk of the game’s content is graphically unimpressive when held under scrutiny.
I can forgive this. You know why? Yoko Shimomura’s soundtrack hits it out of the park. This is one of the best soundtracks in the entire franchise. The only stylistic cue she brings along with her from prior works is her powerful piano melodies (you can feel how hard she’s hitting those keys). This is not Kingdom Hearts, this is not Parasite Eve, or Front Mission, or anything else. Final Fantasy XV has a unique soundscape that made me question whether or not Shimomura was chiefly responsible for it. A cursory glance of the composer credits on all my favorite tracks indicates to me that this is the single greatest soundtrack she’s ever composed, and I don’t think Kingdom Hearts III will come anywhere close to it. Somnus. Omnis Lacrima. Apocalypsis Noctis. Nox Aeterna and Nox Divina. Stand Your Ground, Up for the Challenge, Invidia, Magna Insomnia, Luna. The hits keep coming. You don’t just get one iconic piece, you get several.
I already gushed about how ridiculous the cutscene for Luna’s death was. I’ll give it one more shout-out as a technical achievement. Kingsglaive gets due credit for realism and characters that aren’t in the uncanny valley, but so much is going on when Luna passes the Ring of the Lucii that it’s more impressive in comparison. The entire scene breaks down into particles. Every single object. Then everything basically transpires as if it were underwater. There’s skill on display here.
Conclusions
Some people are going to say ‘Final Fantasy is back’. I think that Final Fantasy is back on the right track towards being a pillar of Japanese gaming once again. XV is a gesture, it’s a reaching out to new ideas and to the jaded fans in proclamation that the series wants to move on and that it wants to get better. I think that Final Fantasy can evolve in this way, that it can evolve in all the right ways. It washes the taste of XIII right out of my mouth and has me firmly believing that all the ingredients for the next great Final Fantasy are in Square’s kitchen. It’s going to be a while before we can jump back on this boat. Kingdom Hearts III is the next major project from Square-Enix’s own family of talent. Dragon Quest XI isn’t something to worry about, it’s a completely different set of artists and developers from Enix’s camp, so it’s competing for funds at best. Considering the cost of Triple-A development these days, we may not see a Final Fantasy XVI for a long time, and I’m okay with that. The lessons we can all take away from XV are all for the better.
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2016.11.22 23:21 neutronknows House Party 11/21/2016 [Part 1/4]

LIVE! Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, AMERICA Streaming via WiR.com
We join Paisner and Woodbridge LIVE standing next to the ring apron inside the Trocadero Theatre in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The camera pans around showing hundreds of screaming fans on the lower level and the upper deck going absolutely bonkers.
Crowd: WIR! WIR! WIR!
Paisner: Welcome everyone to another edition of House Party! I am your host Allen Paisner and with me as always, my heterosexual lifemate, Mark Woodbridge!
Woodbridge: HEY-YO!
Paisner: We have an absolutely jam packed show for you this evening as Kevin Scott Jackson makes his WiR return to take on the man that has every right to call himself WiR World Champion, Dalidus Nova!
Crowd: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOVA!! NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOVA!!
Woodbridge: Except for the whole winning the match or possessing the belt thing.
Paisner: We also got Episode 2 of The BBC’s Gimp Party, pre-taped from a remote island off the coast of North Korea. In which one of our WiR Tag Teams will be mercifully sent packing from North Korea to… well, we haven’t quite figured that part out yet.
Woodbridge: Coffee Boyz still haven’t made it back stateside, huh?
Paisner: Dude… first Flash. Now the Coffee Boyz. You really need to start putting in more effort.
Woodbridge: You kiddin’ me? You’ve seen the trailer I travel around in. Not to mention the size of Trish. LOVE YA BABE! Seriously… that woman eats, Pais. I have to slip Rita down at the Safeway a $1 every now and again to get them fancy apples rung up as the cheap ones. Or score that 2 for 1 Irish Spring deal. We go through about a bar a week scrubbing dead skin from the folds.
Paisner: Ugh… I take it all back.
Woodbridge: What?
Paisner: Everything. As I was saying… and finally in our MMAIN EVENT! A 6 Man Kerfuffle for the #1 Contendership as the likes of David Harvey, Jack Flash, Brendan Byrne, Maverick, Kyle Scott and Carl Jones battle it out to see who will take on The Mark Dutch for the World Championship at “Thanks, Obama” LIVE FROM THE MANHATTAN CENTER DECEMBER 11th, TICKETS ARE STILL AVAILABLE!
Woodbridge: Tickets still available to a show headlined by The Mark, Dutch, eh? Color me shocked.
Paisner: Yeah. Who books the shit anyhow? We got all that and more on this week’s edition of House Party but up first it’s Louis Blackwater fresh off of autographing Dalidus Nova’s forehead with a shiv taking on SAMURAI standout, Doctor Ishmael Yellowstone! Take it away Javier!
Cut to Javier standing proudly inside the ring.
Javier: This following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing to the ring first, standing at 6 feet 1 inch and weighing 215 pounds: from San Francisco, California, he is our newest in-ring talent... DOOCTOOOOOR ISHMAAEEEEEEL YELLOOOOOOWSTOOOONE! Bad Medicine booms, as Doctor Ishmael Yellowstone enters from behind the curtain for the first time. He holds up a massive sign reading ”D.I.Y. LIFEHACK #12: Horny? Hollow out a jalapeno and slide your penis inside. They have the same consistency of a vagina and feel AMAZING!”
Paisner: Huh… you know normally I don’t do keep spicy peppers in the house cause of my acid reflux. You think it works on circumcised cocks?
Woodbridge: Maybe stick with a common bell pepper.
Paisner: Solid point.
The doctor gets into the ring, leaving his sign with Timekeeper Maurice. Suddenly, his music is cut, and replaced by Total Eclipse Of The Heart. The poorly played song is sent into through the building, and the crowd boos as Louis Blackwater makes his appearance from behind the curtain. He stands completely still beside the curtain, arms raised at Javier introduces him.
Javier: And now approaching the ring, standing at 6 feet 2 inches and weighing 210 pounds: from The Catskills... LOOOOOOOOOOUIS BLAAAAAAACKWAAATEEEEER!
Immediately after Javier finishes, Louis breaks into a dead sprint, rushing the ring, He slides under the bottom rope and quickly gets up to his feet, driving a knee into the unsuspecting Yellowstone as the bell is rung.
DING DING DING!
Boom! Boom! Blackwater continues to slam knees into the abdomen of the doctor. After the fifth, he releases Yellowstone, who drops to his knees, coughing and trying to get some air into his lungs. Yellowstone gets one leg up off the mat, but Louis sees this and quickly shoots a kick into the leg, taking it back down.
Woodbridge: The in-ring skill of Louis Blackwater is simply astounding. He never even gives his opponent the chance to get into the fight. He's always on top of the match, and as much as I hate the guy, I have to admire that.
Louis wraps his arm around Ishmael's head in a Headlock, and starts to slowly pull him to his feet. When he gets there, Louis throws the doctors arm over the back of his neck, and pulls him into the air, looking for a stalling suplex!
Crowd: Ooooooh…
But Yellowstone wriggles and fights it, as Blackwater bends over, allowing Ishmael to get back onto his feet. Quickly, the doctor pulls down on Louis's head and drops to the mat, rolling up Blackwater with both shoulders down!
1…
No! Just as quickly as he was pinned, Louis gets the shoulder up. The crowd starts a quiet cheer for Yellowstone, and he raises his arms into the air. with one hand, he lays it on the wrist of the other arm, checking his own pulse to make sure he's not overdoing anything.
Paisner: Ishmael's taking his eye off Louis! Not a smart- OHH!
Louis delivers a Headbutt to the small of Yellowstone's back, sending him sprawling into the ropes. Then, Louis places his right knee on the back of Yellowstone's neck, before pressing down hard, choking Yellowstone on the middle rope!
Itchicock: Get off the ropes, Louis! I will disqualify you! One! Two! Three! Four!
Louis is sure to use all of the time given to him, waiting until the count of four to finally release Ishmael. He pulls his arms off the ring ropes, before dropping down to the mat and rolling out of the ring to take a breather.
Woodbridge: Taking it to the outside going up against a guy who impaled a paying customer with a trident and shivved another man’s skull?
Paisner: Don’t forget stealing a pastry as well. That’s against one of the Commandments if memory serves.
Just as the commentators suggested, Louis follows Ishmael outside of the ring. Ishmael noticed, and tries to protect himself with a punch, but Louis easily blocks it, and grabs hold of the back of Yellowstone's head, before furiously throwing the doctor into the metal ring barrier!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!
Ishmael writhes in pain on the ringside mat, feeling the pain from this match. Louis walks over to him, before delivering a series of wild and hard stomps on the poor, poor man. Stomp after stomp, Louis has a devilish look in his eyes as he puts all his focus into inflicting pain on his opponent.
Paisner: At what point do we get Ivan to call the match off?
Woodbridge: Never! Did Apollo call throw in the towel against Drago? HELL NO!
Paisner: Yeah… Apollo died.
Woodbridge: Oh yeah.
Blackwater grips Yellowstone by the throat, choking him as he hauls him back into the ring. He follows behind, waiting for his unfortunate prey to get to his feet. When he does, Louis is there to plow him back down with a hellacious Forearm strike!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOH!
Doctor’s neck snaps back as he is sent flying into the mat. However, Louis see's red, and hasn't had enough carnage just yet. He immediately pulls Ishmael's body off the mat, using his strength to carry Yellowstone into the corner, sitting him up on the top rope.
Woodbridge: What in the holy hell is Blackwater going to do to this poor man?
Blackwater climbs up to the second rope, and pulls Ishmael's head into his shoulder, before grabbing his legs to pull him into the air! He turns around to face the ring, before leaping off and driving Yellowstone into the mat!
Paisner: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Woodbridge: Welp… better call Travis. Let’em know he’s gotta send somebody else up. Excuse me.
The crowd is going Apeshit ballistic, as Woodbridge steps away from the commentators table for a minute. Inside the ring, Blackwater is sitting upright, a sickening grin on his face, while Ishmael yells lifeless on the mat, unmoving. His chest barely raises with every breath, and Ivan Itchicock looks completely stunned.
Paisner: STOP KILLING EACHOTHER, FOR FUCKS SAKE.
With a nonchalant draping arm, Louis gives a merciful cover to Ishmael. As Ivan starts the count, Louis gives an over-the-top, clearly fake, yawn.
1...!
2...!
3...!
DING DING DING!
Paisner: Thank god.
Javier: The winner of this match via pinfall, at a time of 4:49... LOOOOOUUUIS BLAAAACKWAAATER!
Louis gets to a knee, and starts to lick his lips as Itchicock raises his arm. He looks back down towards Yellowstone, before rolling out of the ring and reaching underneath the ring curtain, looking for... something.
Paisner: What's this whack-job going for now?
Woodbridge: I wouldn't call him a whack-job right now. Not with him so close to you.
After a bit of rummaging, Blackwater finds what he was looking for. He pulls his arms out of the curtain, revealing a Staple Gun and, of all things, a headshot of Dalidus Nova.
Woodbridge: The fuck... where did Louis even GET that?
Paisner: Well, earlier in the week Louis was quoted saying "All I'm going to see is Nova". Looks like that's exactly his plan!
Louis rolls back into the ring, bringing his items with him. By now, Yellowstone is on his hands and knees, trying to get to his feet, but Louis delivers a Punt Kick to the side of Yellowstone's skull!
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Oh C'mon! Don't kick a good doctor like that!
Unsurprisingly, the kick knocks Ishmael out cold. As he lies on the mat, Blackwater turns him over onto his back, before carefully lining up the picture of Dalidus over the face of Yellowstone, and…
SNAP! SNAP!
Crowd: EEEEEW!
Woodbridge: Gah! Louis just shot two of those staples into the forehead of Doctor Yellowstone!
Louis smiles at his handiwork, but suddenly, his act of violence is interrupted by the ring music of Dalidus Nova!
Dalidus starts to angrily walk down to the ring, as Louis frantically pulls for a microphone. He pulls it to his lips as Dalidus gets halfway to the ring.
Blackwater: DON'T YOU MOVE! DON'T YOU TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING STEP OR THIS GUY IS DEAD, GODAMMIT!
The threat stops Dalidus in his tracks. Louis laughs, realizing he's got Nova exactly where he wants him. with one hand, he pulls at the hair of Ishmael, and with the other, he clutches the mic.
Blackwater: Hahahaha! Now you listen to me: You're going to back away, and slink backstage like the coward you are. That is, unless, you want me to do to this man what I did to you?
Dalidus spits out a curse to himself, knowing the position he's been put in. Slowly, and bitterly, he starts to walk backwards, stepping away from the ring. At the same time, Louis has been patiently pulling Yellowstone up to his feet, and by the time Dalidus is right beside the curtain, Louis strikes!
Paisner: Louis is assaulting Yellowstone again! Dalidus is too far away!
Louis quickly throws Yellowstone's arm over his neck, before pulling him into the air and spinning him, dropping him with a devastating maneuver!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOH!
Woodbridge: HOLY SHIT HE BROKE HIS NECK!
Dalidus starts to beeline towards the ring, but it's too late, Louis has already struck Yellowstone! Dalidus slides under the bottom rope, and can barely get his fingers on Louis before he rolls out of the ring, swiftly hopping over the metal ring barrier to escape Dalidus's vengeance!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dalidus reaches through the rope, trying to get at Blackwater, but it's to no avail. As ringside doctors get into the ring to check on WiR's newest signee, Dalidus can only watch as Louis makes his getaway through the furious spectators.
Paisner: Well… that was certainly uncalled for.
Woodbridge: Blackwater is proving to be a righteous cunt of epic proportions that’s for sure.
Paisner: Something not to easy to pull off here in WiR where we’ve had women sexually assaulted in order to goad folk into matches.
Woodbridge: This… IS… wrestling.
Paisner: Indeed it is folks. Indeed it is. We’ll be right back folks…
We see a black and white shot of a long haired man looking down at his very long fingernails.
Man: I have been abandoned... destroyed... hated by the ones I trusted and loved... and this... pain... is something that is amazing... and I wish... to share this pain with you…
Just then, Type O Negative Christian Woman comes on.
SID VASQUEZ
12/11/2016
Cut back to Paisner and Woodbridge sitting at the commentary table.
Woodbridge: Don’t we have enough nutjobs on the roster?
Paisner: Well you’re the one managing the talent. You tell me.
Woodbridge: Like I had a choice in the matter. No. What this roster needs is… a miracle.
Paisner: I’m sure that will come to pass. Up next we got Mark Woodbridge’s Ode to the $200 he won at the Powerball. A Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match where some combination of WiR Independent Champion Jake Beaumont, Sonny Carson, Joey McCarty, Miles Alpha, Teddy Coronado and Logan Lee will be squaring off in 6 Man Tag Action. Take it away Babaganoush!
Javier: The following contest is a Lottery Trios match, and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing your first team! From Woodstock, Ontario, Canada.... JOEY MCCARTY!
Joey’s music hits as he slowly walks out from behind the curtain. He slowly walks down to the ring, pumping his fist to gain confidence.
Paisner: Joey McCarty as the first man here, has no idea who his teammates are going to be.
Woodbridge: Well he hates half of them, so let’s see what happens here.
Joey slides into the ring and looks around, smirking as his confidence returns to him. He then goes to his corner and stretches, waiting for someone else to be called in.
Javier: And his teammate, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada... MILES ALPHA!
The crowd pops mildly as Alpha’s music hits the sound system. Alpha comes out, waving his arms. His expression stills slightly as he sees McCarty in the ring, but he forces it back into a smile.
Paisner: Alpha and McCarty likely still have bad blood after that falling out at AMUDOV, where McCarty interfered in Alpha’s match, giving him the victory.
Woodbridge: I mean, Alpha won. He can’t be THAT mad.
Alpha walks up the stairs, wipes his feet off on the apron, and goes to stand beside McCarty.
Javier: And their partner, brought to you by Ballsweat... SONNY CARSON!
Sonny Carson’s music hits... and nothing happens. The crowd’s mixed reaction falls to silence, then booes, as Carson is nowhere to be found. We cut to Alpha and McCarty in the ring, both infuriated by this turn of events.
Paisner: Well.. fuck. I guess we have a handicap match now. Good job Woodbridge!
Woodbridge: Hey, I won the Powerball. They lost the Powerball. Big deal. Nut up.
Javier takes a moment to compose himself, and then begins to speak again.
Javier: And their opponents... Introducing first, from Des Moines, Iowa... LOGAN LEE!
Logan’s music hits as he steps out from the curtain. He spreads his arms wide, soaking in the boos of the audience, and smirks. He begins walking down the ramp, glaring at audience members.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!!
Paisner: Logan Lee, ever the egotist, feels he should be in our main event tonight, rather than dealing with his partners here tonight. He’s declared he will carry whoever is on his team to victory here tonight.
Woodbridge: And now with the numbers game, that’s looking far more likely.
Logan slides into the ring, smirks at the two Cardinals, and mouths “Mongolia.” McCarty almost charges at him, but Alpha holds him back, before Logan goes to his own corner.
Javier: And his partner! From Seattle, Washington... TEDDY CORONADO!
Coronado’s music hits and he gets a moderate pop. He steps out from behind the curtain with a smirk, and points at the Cardinals, before motioning them to come at him. He then jogs down to the ring.
Paisner: Coronado looking hyped tonight, ready for this tag team match.
Woodbridge: Definitely looks better than he did with that hagin... haggin.. Ice cream.
Coronado slides into the ring, and goes and stands near the corner, but a healthy distance away from Lee.
Javier: And their partner! From Brady, Texas, he is the WiR Independent Champion... JAKE BEAUMONT!
Beaumont’s music hits. People fucking explode. Beaumont comes out, soaking up the energy of the crowd, and charges down to the ring.
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
Paisner: Beaumont having an explosive return to WiR! He shows up, wins the Independent Championship, and then defends it the next week!
Woodbridge: This guy is a star in the making or something I dunno.
Beaumont takes off his jacket, tosses it into the crowd, then steps up the ring steps and onto the apron. Lee and Alpha both take up their positions on the apron, leaving Coronado and McCarty in the ring as the bell rings.
DING DING DING
Coronado charges McCarty, but is met with a nice forearm. Coronado staggers back, and McCarty chases him, bludgeoning him with forearms and elbows before flooring him with a clothesline! Coronado quickly gets to his feet and McCarty hooks him into a quick roll-up!
1!
Coronado kicks out and rolls to his feet. McCarty gets up with him, only to be met with a stiff kick! McCarty staggers back, and Coronado charges him, hitting him with a knee to the chest, then dropping him into a DDT! Coronado rolls to his feet and pulls the slightly dazed McCarty up. Coronado tries to irish whip Joey into enemy territory, but Joey sets his feet and is having none of it. Joey pulls Coronado to his own corner with an Irish whip, sending Coronado slumping against the turnbuckle!
Paisner: Coronado with the weight advantage, but Joey has the leg muscles from hockey required to stop himself there!
Woodbridge: Can’t he play a man’s sport or something?
Joey sprints over to Coronado and kicks him in the gut, sending him down to a sitting position. He then proceeds to stomp a hole in Coronado, while Coronado desperately tries to cover up! The referee starts counting as Joey continues stomping on Coronado, and Joey breaks it up at 4 before tagging Alpha in! Alpha steps into the ring with Joey and the two hook Coronado up for a beautiful double suplex! Alpha goes for the cover as McCarty steps out of the ring.
1!
2!
Coronado kicks out and rolls over to the ropes. Alpha gets there first, pulling Coronado up to his feet. Coronado tries for a desperate haymaker, but Alpha counters it into an arm drag! Coronado rolls to his feet and Alpha hits him with a picture-perfect dropkick, sending him tumbling out of the ring!
Paisner: What a dropkick from Miles!
Alpha raises his arm in triumph, only to get blindsided by Logan Lee! Logan charges in with an elbow to the back of Alpha’s head, then spins him and hooks him up for an exploder suplex! Lee gets to his feet and is immediately on Alpha, covering him with stomps! Alpha rolls away, trying to regain his bearings, but to no avail. Logan pulls Alpha to his feet after a few agonizing moments of stomps, then whips the dazed Alpha over to Logan’s corner. Logan walks over there and hits him with a stiff backhand chop! And another! And another!
Crowd: WOO! WOO! WOO!
Lee scowls at the crowd and instead of hitting more chops aggressively tags Beaumont in before hopping to the apron. Beaumont, confused, steps into the ring and picks up right where Logan left off! A stiff chop! Another one! Another one! Alpha’s chest is bright red!
Crowd: WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO!
Alpha stumbles out of the corner and falls flat on his face. Beaumont wastes no time rolling him over and going for the pin!
1!
2!
Alpha kicks out! Beaumont pulls Alpha to his feet before sizing him up and hooking him for a Blue Thunder Bomb
Paisner: BTX Bomb! That could be it!
1!
2!
No!
Alpha kicks out again! Beaumont drags Alpha back to his corner and tags in Logan, who smirks and steps into the ring.
Woodbridge: They don’t like each other, but this is good tag team strategy. Both of them know they have the numbers advantage, and if they want to win they had better use it.
Beaumont picks Alpha up, and holds him in a hammerlock as Logan spins! Logan with the spinning backfist! ALPHA DUCKS! Logan knocks Beaumont clear across the ring! Logan watches Beaumont for a split second, before shrugging. Alpha takes this moment to catch Logan with a superkick! Logan hits the mat and Alpha makes a break for it! Alpha dives for McCarty and for once they’re in unison! He makes the tag! McCarty storms in and hits the recovering Lee with a knee strike to the face! McCarty with the cover!
1!
2!
NO!
Logan kicks out with authority, shoving McCarty off of him.McCarty rolls to his feet, and Logan pulls himself up with the help of the ropes. McCarty hits Logan with a huge kick to the back, and Logan staggers over to the corner. He looks over, and tags Coronado in, pointing at McCarty before stepping out.
Paisner: Logan’s being smart here, if despicable. The moment things aren’t going his way, he’s going to get out of the ring.
Woodbridge: Fuckin’ pussy.
Coronado hops over the top rope and charges McCarty! The two trade forearm strikes and Coronado gets the advantage! McCarty staggers backwards, and Coronado charges! He leaps! Bicycle Knee! McCarty hits the mat! Coronado goes for the cover!
1!
2!
3! NO!
Alpha dives in, breaking up the count at the last second! Coronado rolls to his feet and looks at the ref, who gives him 2, and he shakes his head before pulling Joey’s limp body up.
Paisner: Give Alpha and McCarty credit here, they’re trying their hardest, but they’re down a man!
Woodbridge: They aren’t winning.
Joey manages to stay on his feet, and Coronado shoves him back into the ropes, lighting him up with stiff kicks! McCarty slumps against the ropes, and Coronado takes him down with a clothesline, sending both men tumbling over the top rope! Alpha and Beaumont jump in, while Logan kinda yawns. Alpha charges Beaumont, but is met with a stiff forearm! Alpha staggers back, but comes back with a kick to Beaumont’s gut! Beaumont staggers, clutching his stomach, and Alpha runs past him, grabbing his neck and leaping into a neckbreaker! Alpha goes for a cover!
1!
2!
NO!
Beaumont kicks out with authority, and rolls to the ropes, grabbing his neck
Paisner: Nice ring awareness from Beaumont, getting over to the ropes so Alpha can’t do more damage!
Woodbridge: I mean he could choke him.
Paisner: Yeah, Mark, but Alpha’s not a dick.
Beaumont pulls himself to his feet, only to be met with a stiff kick from Alpha! Alpha goes for another one, but Beaumont catches it! Alpha with the enziguri! Beaumont ducks and sends him down with a dragon screw! Beaumont with the advantage, pulls Alpha to his feet, hooks him in the hangman’s clutch! He spins! Alpha meets him with a superkick! Beaumont finishes the elbow strike, catching Alpha right on the knee! Alpha hits the mat, clutching his knee, as Beaumont staggers back into his corner! Logan, smelling blood, tags himself in on Beaumont’s back, before moving to stalk Alpha! Alpha, realizing what’s going on, rolls out of the ring! Logan sighs in disappointment, about to roll after him... McCarty with the Bertruzzi Punch! Logan hits the mat! McCarty rolls him into the cover!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Beaumont dives forward, breaking up the pin! Joey looks at the ref, pleading, then starts to argue! McCarty gets to his feet and starts yelling at Undersach! Undersach looks around, intimidated, but stands his ground, saying that it was 2! Joey starts cursing like a hockey player, failing to notice Logan standing up behind him! Logan gets to his feet and grabs Joey by the arm, spinning him out, then pulling him in! SHINY RAICHU! Joey drops like he’s been shot! Logan with the cover!
1!
2!
3!
Alpha is just a moment too late!
DING DING DING!
Javier: And your winners... at a time of 10:41... JAKE BEAUMONT, TEDDY CORONADO, and LOGAN LEE!
Logan’s music starts to hit as he stalks to the back, leaving Joey’s motionless body in the ring. Beaumont raises an arm in victory!
Paisner: Try as the Cardinals might, they just couldn’t work together well enough to get the job done against three competitors.
Woodbridge: It was like something didn’t click.
Paisner: OH SHI-
Sonny Carson suddenly slides into the ring, with an almost evil expression on his face! The cheers for Beaumont turn to boos, and he turns to - KICK TO THE GUT! NOVA DRIVER! Carson smirks down at Beaumont’s lifeless body as boos rain down upon him. After a moment, though... his face softens. He looks around, confused.. He looks down at Beaumont remorsefully... He looks at the crowd booing him... And he sprints off, sliding out of the ring and sprinting down the ramp with a pitiful expression on his face.
Paisner: Two weeks... Two attacks... Two very confused announcers. What’s up with Sonny, Mark?
Woodbridge: How should I fuckin’ know?
Paisner: Uhhh… you’re kinda his boss now. It helps to build relationships with your employees.
Woodbridge: Fuck it. But if Sonny thinks he can get away with no showing matches, he’s got another thing coming.
Paisner: I see… we’ll be right back folks as this House Party is far from getting busted!
submitted by neutronknows to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]


2016.02.17 16:02 IsaiahKey I [22 M] am feeling guilty about dating after breaking up with my ex [26F]

So, let's try and keep this concise. I'll try and put in all the relevant facts but if you need further explanation, let me know. Names have been altered for safety.
Kara and I met in October 2011, bonding over roleplaying and artwork. She's from the UK; I'm from the US. At the same time I met a young man, Trevor (US), and we were really hitting it off. I maintained a close friendship with Kara and with Trevor I began to do sexual things with him. As someone who is transgender, I was incredibly shy and unsure of my body, and he was able to emotionally abuse me for his own means. By the time it started getting truly unhealthy, I had befriended Sarah (US), who saw the warning signs and helped me leave the relationship.
A couple months later, I told Kara how I'd been developing feelings for her, long before I had met Sarah. I didn't know at the time I was polyamorous, and Kara was unsure of how to react. I gave her some time, and a few months later, March 2013, we began dating! Yay! We talked and decided to not follow my old mistake of not communicating with my partner, which I saw as a big flaw that ruined previous relationships.
Things went well for awhile. I was still in college, having changed my major to something that made me actually enjoy life, and I was easily able to support the relationship. Kara has always been much quieter and more logical, while I was more emotional and able to carry the conversations when they flagged. We met up once and had a blast, with even Sarah coming to visit too. We made plans to meet up again with our limited funds at least once a year until I was done with my degree and could afford to visit more often. I was happy, up until my nice new job became at risk because of forces outside my control (it was an internet based job and the apartment complex was breaking my internet down constantly over the summer). This+my scholarship running out made me decide it was best to put things on hold until I could afford it again. In August 2015, I moved in with Sarah, and began job hunting again.
My life fell apart. I moved to a new state and was remaking myself in many ways, but in others I felt like I had a void. I grew up being told to put college above all else, and I couldn't do it anymore. My parents didn't approve of my leaving; my dad had even offered to let me live with him and commute to college since he had stable internet but I didn't want to depend on my family (they had made it clear enough that I wasn't turning out how they wanted anyway since I refused to be their daughter anymore). I was depressed, still am sometimes, feeling purposeless.
Kara stopped talking to me when I found it hard to continue conversations. This was the most devastating thing to me because right as that started, in September, I also noticed I was getting a crush on someone in my new friend group, Anthony. I panicked and told Sarah about this, and she pointed out it was possible I was polyamorous and hadn't figured it out before because I had been raised Christian. After a couple weeks, I agreed, and made myself tell Kara.
She didn't take it well, thinking I'd cheat on her, and I promised her she would always come first, no matter how many crushes I had. I resolved to just remain friends with Anthony and ignored my feelings for him and how things continued to stagnate with Kara as I continued to be the main talker when we did talk.
Kara has depression too, and it gets worse in the winter, especially when she was having hip surgery coming up. I'd do my damndest to be there for her, shunting aside my own issues, but they'd bottle up and spill to my other friends, and I'd lash out sometimes if someone gave a petty response to my moodiness. We ended up not talking at all from November til mid-December, when Sarah pointed out to me that I needed emotional support too and had been there so much for Kara already.
I talked to Kara about it and she agreed to try harder once the surgery was over. I watched the news on Facebook and got excited when she announced she was home and was making jokes about it with her friends and family. Yes! A fresh start was coming soon. I made sure I made myself easily visible for when she came online so we didn't miss each other and frequently checked my phone.
Several days passed, and she still didn't talk to me. I saw her come online a few times, but she had said she would reach out to me, so I waited to see if she was really going to try. I made myself more anxious, wondering if I should reach out. What if her jokes were hiding how much she was hurting?
Sarah came to the rescue, telling me off about my foundless anxiety and giving Kara a conversation starter. Sarah and I agreed that I should bring up my concerns to Kara because of the promise Kara and I made at the beginning of our relationship - to be totally open with each other. I brought it up in brief, between a bunch of questions about her health, and we discussed it.
She said she thought she was making it all up in her own head.
We broke up that day, and I was numb. It felt like a relief to know it wasn't just me, but it hurt so much because I had poured a lot into the relationship and had been determined not to ignore danger signs just because it was an LDR and "safe". Apparently, I'd not done enough of that. My crush on Anthony didn't suffer at all, but I remained quiet about it, not wanting to disrupt my friend group or seem like I had broken up with someone I had cared for deeply just to hop into another relationship immediately.
Fast forward to last week. Anthony was talking about how he was tentatively dating someone and how that had been while we were being nerds in a nerd place with our nerd friends. I didn't comment except to encourage because I want to be a Good Friend and let him do as he wishes, even if it made me sad. Sarah and I kidnapped another friend, Klaus, and went home for awhile, and when Klaus asked what was up, I admitted my feelings for Anthony and added that he not say anything because I didn't want to get in the way of his dating someone else.
Well, Klaus and Anthony are close friends, nearly as close as Sarah and I (who are, as we try to describe it, platonic lifemates), and it turns out that Anthony has been quietly crushing on me too and refusing to say anything about it out of respect to me relationship and then my breakup and how I'd been devastated afterwards. We decide to talk to Anthony about it because the worst thing that could happen is we remain friends, so we wait until after a group hangout and pull Anthony aside.
Turns out the girl he's talking to he's dated before and is worried about the relationship going South again, so we agree to let him talk to her and see what she says before going any further. We hug, I kiss him on the cheek, he goes off with our friends and with Klaus.
He ends up remaining friends with the girl and we started dating on Valentine's Day. I give him the full talk, about my previous relationships and how they feed into my current issues, and about being polyamorous. He does the same for me, and we agree to try and talk to each other about problems as much as possible.
I know I'm honeymooning, but I'm happy, and that makes me anxious. I feel guilty for dating a little over a month after a nearly 3 year relationship, especially since this is someone I was crushing on when I needed my friends for emotional support. Am I going too fast into this?
tl;dr I was in a long term LDR with someone and while I poured myself into the relationship they admitted they might've been making up the feelings in their head. As someone who is polyamorous, I had a crush on someone more local while this relationship started to fail, and a month later I'm dating him. I'm feeling guilty about everything and feel like I could've done something to save the previous relationship despite being the emotional backbone for a year and a half. Am I going too fast into something new?
submitted by IsaiahKey to relationships [link] [comments]


2014.12.23 18:04 Lajak_Anni When polyamory gets complicated.

Scroll to bottom for TL;DR.
Ok, longtime lurker. First post. I hope this an appropriate sub, and i hope i do this correctly. i dont know where to go, but i do know i want to ask the opinions of others who i find to be generally supportive and helpful.
So, my story:
I (m 31) met my fiance (f 30) 7 years ago. After the second or third date we both expained our sexuality to each other. Im a cis male, she's omni sexual. But we both were poly. So we got together and ran with it.
To keep the 7 year history short, we decided on a hierarical poly. Her calling the shots. we were always safe with other partners. She never really did anythign with anyone else, but i would screw other women. Again, wih her say so. Hell, we'd screw and then the two of them would go right back to hanging out, with or without me (me doing something else, or need to go to work or whatever). So she was cool with everything for all this time.
Now these past two, going on three, years we had to live in different states because economy. I met a girl and kept the rules. She okayed and she moved in with me and everything was cool...until recently.
Now she wants to go monogamous (hope i spelled that right) and this is the hardest thing i've had to do for a few reasons.
First: having my fiance and my girlfriend, and them both being in love (or at least in like) was the most fulfilling thing in the world for me. She not only condoned having sex with someone i came to love but she wanted to too. And this wasnt about hte possibilty of a threesome. It was honest fulfilment. Happiness. Pure and simple.
Seond: I LIVE with our girlfriend. I share a bed with her. I cant get a new apartment with a seperate room for her, cause of a 2 year commitment. And even then theres no guarantee that either of us make enough for that move to become reality. And more complications when we include my two roomates (hetero lifemate silent N*** and his girlfriend).
So...my question to reddit, how do i handle this? How do i stop having sex with someone i have zero choice but to live with for 2 years cause we got rent to pay?
Theres probably more details im leaving out. I've been trying to write this for a while and im honestly stressed....a lot. I played hookie from work cause today is one of two stressful days at work and i couldnt handle it. I feel like i'd snap. Please, ask me questions, and i'll tell no lies....minus names. No names.
Another stress marker i havent told my fiancee about and the girlfriend hasnt notied. I normally go through one bottle of booze a week...ish. week and a couple days. Now i'm up to two. So...yeah...stress...help... please
TL;DR
Me and my fiancee are poly, i live out of state with our girlfriend. Im here for 2 years and now she wants to go mono after 7 years of poly and i dont know how to stop having sex with my lovely girlfriend.
Edit: did this make frontpage? Thats what my tablet says...wow. thanks? But seriously, help.
submitted by Lajak_Anni to polyamory [link] [comments]


2014.12.23 16:15 Lajak_Anni When polyamory gets complex.

Scroll to bottom for TL;DR.
Ok, longtime lurker. First post. I hope this an appropriate sub, and i hope i do this correctly. i dont know where to go, but i do know i want to ask the opinions of others who i find to be generally supportive and helpful.
Also, before i begin, please dont reply with anything in the neighborhood of "your a cheater"or other crap like that. Thats not how poly works and i dont want to have to explain it.
So, my story:
I (m 31) met my fiance (f 30) 7 years ago. After the second or third date we both expained our sexuality to each other. Im a cis male, she's omni sexual. But we both were poly. So we got together and ran with it.
To keep the 7 year history short, we decided on a hierarical poly. Her calling the shots. we were always safe with other partners. She never really did anythign with anyone else, but i would screw other women. Again, wih her say so. Hell, we'd screw and then the two of them would go right back to hanging out, with or without me (me doing something else, or need to go to work or whatever). So she was cool with everything for all this time.
Now these past two, going on three, years we had to live in different states because economy. I met a girl and kept the rules. She okayed and she moved in with me and everything was cool...until recently.
Now she wants to go monogamous (hope i spelled that right) and this is the hardest thing i've had to do for a few reasons.
First: having my fiance and my girlfriend, and them both being in love (or at least in like) was the most fulfilling thing in the world for me. She not only condoned having sex with someone i came to love but she wanted to too. And this wasnt about hte possibilty of a threesome. It was honest fulfilment. Happiness. Pure and simple.
Seond: I LIVE with our girlfriend. I share a bed with her. I cant get a new apartment with a seperate room for her, cause of a 2 year commitment. And even then theres no guarantee that either of us make enough for that move to become reality. And more complications when we include my two roomates (hetero lifemate silent N*** and his girlfriend).
So...my question to reddit, how do i handle this? How do i stop having sex with someone i have zero choice but to live with for 2 years cause we got rent to pay?
Theres probably more details im leaving out. I've been trying to write this for a while and im honestly stressed....a lot. I played hookie from work cause today is one of two stressful days at work and i couldnt handle it. I feel like i'd snap. Please, ask me questions, and i'll tell no lies....minus names. No names.
Another stress marker i havent told my fiancee about and the girlfriend hasnt notied. I normally go through one bottle of booze a week...ish. week and a couple days. Now i'm up to two. So...yeah...stress...help... please
TL;DR
Me and my fiancee are poly, i live out of state with our girlfriend. Im here for 2 years and now she wants to go mono after 7 years of poly and i dont know how to stop having sex with my lovely girlfriend.
submitted by Lajak_Anni to sex [link] [comments]


2014.11.03 23:24 littletotheright People call boyfriend a selfish lover, and I'm starting to think it's true

We are both in our early 20s, in college together, and have been together for two years. We are each other's first long term relationship, and our first sexual encounters in every sexual act. So, we are pretty new to this whole thing, but it's been working for two years.
I waited to have sex with him until five months in because that's when it felt right to me. We had oral and saw each other totally naked before then. This past summer he teased me a little saying I had him wait for so long to have sex, but I shut him down pretty quickly and he hasn't brought it up for a month. That still kind of bugs me, though.
The meat of our problem (I believe) is when we first initiated our sexual life, it was heavily one-sided. I gave him oral around 3-4 times a week, and he gave me oral maybe 5 times our first year. It even devolved into having barely any foreplay, I would only be fingered once in a blue moon and really he was just checking to see if I was "wet enough" for sex.
This total discrepancy severely hurt our relationship, but I am heavily passive and conflict makes me feel guilty, so I didn't bring it up until maybe a year-year and a half of our relationship. He was hurt and told me he wanted to do better. And he told me the same thing the next time we had the same discussion a few months later. And the time after that. "I'll do better." And I don't believe him anymore when he says it, and I've told him that.
The last time we had this conversation about me not being sexually dissatisfied was because it culminated into him grabbing lube after 3-5 minutes of foreplay because I wasn't wet enough. After that talk, he did actually focus more on my pleasure and actually making me feel aroused, and we have it where he focuses on my pleasure once a week.
But I feel like I have enabled this behavior for so long that he simply is not motivated to pleasure me because he gets his fill. I have severely cut back on the blowjobs. For a while I thought I had an extremely high libido, but after he focused on foreplay a ton more and our weekly excursions about my pleasure, I have felt wholly satisfied. It's like I get to feel what it must have felt like for him to be satisfied. I'm not seeking increased sexual activity now because I am actually getting satisfied.
I'm sorry I'm jumping around, I'm just so mixed up about what to do. We talked about if he doesn't like oral or not, and he assured me it's not my taste or anything, and sometimes he likes doing it, but he never feels like doing it. We talked about how giving oral is not for you to be pleasured, it's for pleasuring your partner. And he just doesn't get that I like giving him oral because it makes him feel good, and that's what turns me on. He just doesn't feel the same about giving oral to me.
I just feel backhanded a bit because I feel like if we were to break up and go into new relationships, his would be a total mess and my partner would consider me a total blessing because I do focus a lot on my partner's pleasure.
So what I'm getting at here is, now that I'm being satisfied sexually (at least at an acceptable amount), I'm still unsure about our relationship. I felt very significantly about him when I first met him. I dreamed about him the first time I saw him. What I felt was so significant that I believed we could be lifemates. But his lack of actions and the amount of times I had to talk to him about an issue before it changed is really fucking with me. Sometimes we hit a good day and I feel the love pouring out between us, but most of the time it is nothing like that.
Physical touch is very important to me and makes me feel loved, and I've told him many times how important the physical aspect of our relationship is to me. And he just didn't deliver until I told him that I was considering walking away from our relationship. So now I feel like, "Oh, NOW you care, NOW you change", but I think it might be too late.
I don't even know what advice I'm asking for. I don't know what question to ask. Are we fixable? I can't make him want to pleasure me, I know that, but I'm still holding on. Is he a selfish lover?
tl;dr- Enabled boyfriend through first year of starting sexual relationship so he always gets pleasured while I hardly did. I've talked to him many times throughout our relationship, but he didn't change until I told him I considered leaving. Am I wasting my time?
submitted by littletotheright to sex [link] [comments]


2014.09.24 03:24 ChaosWolf1982 Steamy Romance Novels: Is More LGBT Positivity/Representation in the future of WoW?

So... one of the understated details added to the recent builds of the beta is that the famous Steamy Romance Novel series have illustrations (or at least cover art).
Which has revealed something interesting, with the newest one, made for Warlords, the volume entitled "Savage Passions"... the illustration depicts two men, rather than the illustrations of the rest of the series, which typically depicts a male/female couple.
Considering that "Hot And Misty" made reference to two women having a same-sex marriage (the female Pandaren flightmaster at Tavern In The Mists is mentioned to have a female "lifemate"), and now "Savage Passions" has two guys as its chosen illustration, I wonder if this is a start towards some canon and openly-presented (not-subtext-only) LGBT representation in-game...
...then again, the flightmaster mentioned in "Hot And Misty" isn't just a character in the story - she really IS the Tavern's flightmaster. So really, the only thing keeping there from being not just LGBT representation, but an actual same-sex couple in the game right now, is we don't know who her partner is or where she is located in the game.
Well, unless you count all those rumors about Asric and Jadaar, or Tholo and Anren... or the (one-sided) flirting between Sentinel Sweetspring and Sentinel Amberline... or how Quae and Kinelory's interactions make their relationship about as subtly suggested as Xena and Gabrielle...
submitted by ChaosWolf1982 to wow [link] [comments]


2013.06.20 15:25 sexandliquor The little things you may have missed in 'The Last Of Us' or things you didnt realize until afterwards

I just read that that Bill is gay. That completely went over my head. I thought his "partner" Frank was just a hetero lifemate sort of thing. And the magazine Ellie stole and reads in the truck was a gay porn mag apparently.
submitted by sexandliquor to gaming [link] [comments]